The Hazards of Love
by What About Love
Summary: A Brock/Reba story. What happens when she decides to be selfish for just a moment? Perhaps it will change all of their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

At the beginning of last year I got a PM from someone saying that I should write another Reba fic, since I've been a little occupied with Will and Grace for a while. So, this is for crazy4reba. I didn't forget about you! lol

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No, it wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible. She paced back and forth in her bedroom, allowing the therapy session to pass through her mind once more. It had been nearly an hour since she walked out on a question she had been asking herself for years.

_Do you two still love each other?_

She couldn't answer; she only restrained a gasp and looked to Brock. She hoped he would answer so she wouldn't have to, but he didn't. He only sat there on that couch, grasping for a good enough response, or a good lie. He had his lying face on; she could tell what was going to happen next if Barbra Jean hadn't walked through the door. But she ran, like a child.

A sharp knock upon the door brought her from her pacing. She stopped and stared, wondering who it could be. Was it Brock, coming to confront her? God, she hoped not. She wouldn't be able to face him until she knew for sure how she felt. But what if it was Barbra Jean? Did Brock tell her about what happened? Surely he kept it to himself. The door opened.

"Oh, Cheyenne, what's up?" She took a deep breath, relieved that it was only her eldest daughter. Perhaps she would help ease the tension.

"Are you okay? You haven't said a word since you got back from Dad's therapist."

"I'm fine. It was just ridiculous, that's all." She smiled, trying to look convincing, and Cheyenne seemed to buy it.

"Well, Van and I are taking Elizabeth to the movies, and Jake called and said he was going to spend the night at Josh's house."

"I'm going to be all alone?" She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to have some distractions from her mind. It was always the same. She would think herself into a panic, if she wasn't distracted for a bit. Time was a necessity for her to begin thinking logically.

"I thought you liked being alone." She leaned forward and pecked her mother's cheek in a form of goodbye. "We'll be back later, okay? Love you." She left, and, a few minutes later, Reba heard the door of the car close before they drove away. She was alone.

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She was sitting on the couch, glass of red wine in her hand and a soft blanket over her legs. After cleaning the house she decided that a glass of wine might help to calm her nerves, but she wasn't sure it was helping. Suddenly, she looked up to the door as it opened and Brock walked into her living room. It was impossible for her to speak at the moment.

He shrugged before cautiously making his way over to the couch, taking a seat next to her. Silence, it was all around, making the awkwardness between them feel unbearable. His eyes met hers after a moment, and he turned to face her. She placed her glass of wine on the table, calming herself.

"Reba, I know we should talk about what happened earlier, but I don't know what to say." She licked her lips and sighed. His voice was shaky and full of nerves, making her somewhat thankful. She was glad that he was as nervous as she. It would make it easier to relate to one another.

"Nothing happened, though. We don't really need to talk, right?" She picked up her glass of wine and finished it in a quick gulp, hoping to cushion her mind.

"Do you still love me?" She almost choked at his words.

"What the hell kind of a question is that?" She tried to stand to walk away, but he took hold of her hand, keeping her seated next to him. "Just stop. I want you to listen to me, okay? Nothing happened, nothing is going to happen. You are going to work things out with Barbra Jean, and everything will go back to normal."

"I am planning on working things out with Barbra Jean, but I want to know your answer."

"It wouldn't make a difference. I don't have an answer. Just let it go, please." He nodded, knowing how crazy the day had felt for all of them. When he stood to go, however, she didn't let go of his hand. She stood to meet his eyes for a moment, wanting to try a sort of experiment. She leaned forward hugged him tightly, feeling his hands move up and down her back in a comforting motion. After pulling away, patting his shoulder in form of goodbye, she took her glass from the table and walked towards the kitchen. He took it has his cue to leave, but he couldn't just yet.

She didn't realize that he had followed until she turned around and saw his pleading eyes staring into her own. From the hug only, she knew that she was still attracted to him, but she couldn't have said if it was a feeling of love. They were married for twenty years, and she had once loved him, but she was just confused at the moment.

He walked forward and hurriedly pressed his lips against hers, taking her by complete surprise. She sighed, placing her hands on his face, pulling him close. He felt her teeth touch his bottom lip, just for a split second, before their lips parted. Just as quickly as she had given in, she pushed him away, and the palm of her hand made its way across his face without her consent. The sound of the slap resounded loudly between the walls as they stood staring at one another in shock.

"I'm sorry."

"No, Brock, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" He silenced her apologies with a wave, shaking his head. Oddly enough, he understood her reaction, but it felt so good to kiss her, to feel her lips moving against his own. He wouldn't have been able to resist if he tried. For that brief moment it felt like old times.

"I'll talk to you later, Reba." He left just as abruptly as he had appeared, leaving the sound of his voice whispering her name and the feeling of his lips on her own. She took a deep breath and looked after him. Her legs felt like water, and she wanted him to come back. She couldn't help it. She wanted him to rush back to her arms and rip her clothes from her body. She didn't care about anything; all she wanted at the moment was him.

But she wasn't allowed to want him. She wasn't allowed to kiss him, and she had no clue what he was thinking. He kissed her. He was the one who made the first move, and it made the situation between them worse, simply because she didn't know how to respond.

She slammed her hand against the counter and went upstairs to bed. It may have only been eight o'clock, but she didn't quite feel up to battling her mind. She needed help.


	2. Chapter 2

She hated clubs. She couldn't dance like the younger crowd, and she didn't like drinking to excess because she knew she would make a fool of herself if she did. There was no reason for her to really be there, but Lori Ann insisted she go and find a man. So, there she was in a smoky club, miserable. What was worse was that: Barbra Jean insisted on tagging along to be the designated driver.

She hadn't spoken to Brock in over a week, and life was slowly getting back to another version of normal. Normal wasn't something that happened often, and she certainly didn't expect it to occur after what happened between her and her ex-husband. Lori Ann told her she was crazy for feeling the way she was, and perhaps she was right. She saw her friend cringe when she mentioned kissing Brock, but she couldn't keep something like that to herself.

"Reba, why don't you come out here and dance instead of moping at the bar? I keep bumping into Barbra Jean, and..." She rolled her eyes and took another sip of her beer.

"I can't dance; you know that." Lori Ann sat next to her and took a sip of her own beer.

"Damn it, honey, you're bringing me down. Besides, I remember you dancing when we were in college, and you were good then."

"Do you know how many years ago that was?"

"Maybe you just need to get drunk." She turned to the bartender and waved him over to them. "Give her a double shot of tequila."

"That doesn't solve anything." Lori Ann shoved the shot into her hand and nodded.

"It will after a couple of these. Then we can dance."

"What kind of friend are you if you're pressuring me to do things I don't want to do?"

"I'm the kind of friend who's going to help get you laid, honey. Now, drink up." Reba's eyes were wide. That was not what she had in mind when she agreed to go out with them.

"What? I'm not interested in…"

"Drink it, drink it. You're only a slut when you're drunk. Come on." She rolled her eyes and downed the harsh liquid, coughing a bit at the burn. The affect it had upon her was almost immediate, yet soft. She usually just stuck to drinking beer and wine. Neither burned her throat, and she didn't get drunk off them. Tipsy was where she usually stopped herself, but that suddenly wasn't an issue at the moment.

She ordered another shot, and quickly drank it, sighing afterwards. Lori Ann smiled and patted her on the back before walking onto the dance floor to find her friend someone with whom she could dance. Reba felt heavy, clumsy after finishing her beer. She wasn't drunk, not yet, but she was so close that she could feel it. She had to admit that it felt very freeing for once.

A man placed his hand over hers, and she turned to face him, squinting to focus on his face. He was good looking, she supposed, and he began to speak. Nothing made sense, but she knew his smile was charming. She couldn't say anything, only smiled and nodded when he bought her another shot and asked her to dance.

She stumbled onto the dance floor, quickly feeling his hands on her hips as he ground his pelvis against her backside. She felt shocked. Her body stayed still. She was nervous. However, her nerves eased when his hands slid over her stomach, sending chills down her spine. He pulled her close and their hips began to move together. She could feel the music pound within her chest, and it was exhilarating.

Whether she was blacking out, or time was simply skipping a few minutes, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that his breath was hot against her lips as he pressed her against the wall down the hallway where the bathrooms were. Nobody was around; she couldn't have cared if they were. Alcohol had long since taken over her senses and nothing quite mattered. His tongue entered her mouth as his hands roamed over her hips to rest upon her buttocks.

She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer, feeling him raise the loose-fitting shirt from her body and tossing it to the floor to reveal her tank-top. His fingers caressed her cleavage as he pushed his hips closer to hers. She reached down his stomach and began to unbuckle his pants. Her mind was on automatic, without her permission. His belt was loosened with a swift tug and she began to work on his zipper.

"Reba!" Barbra Jean appeared in front of her as the man was pushed from her lips. She blinked and took a deep breath. "What has gotten into you?" She heard the man and Barbra Jean argue for a moment while she tried to think straight. Her eyes were heavy, and her knees felt weak. Suddenly, Barbra Jean pushed her shirt against her stomach and harshly pulled her out the door.

The car ride home was short, especially because she was passed out against the door for most of it. Barbra Jean reprimanded her and talked the whole time, but she couldn't have possibly been able to repeat anything that was said. Her friend pulled her from the car and led her into her house, up the stairs and to her bedroom.

"Oh God..." Were those the first words she had spoken all night? She couldn't remember. All she knew was that she was feeling sick. Her hand flew to her mouth as she tried to walk. She failed miserably and her friend quickly held her in a standing position.

"Are you going to vomit?" She nodded, and Barbra Jean quickly helped her to the bathroom, holding her hair while she emptied the liquor from her stomach.

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She squinted as she awoke from a deep sleep. A groan escaped her lips at the pain in her back. She opened her eyes to discover that she was on her bathroom floor, covered with a heavy blanket from her bed. She sat upright and held a hand to her forehead. Her stomach lurched, and she swallowed back the urge to vomit once more.

She softly crawled into her bedroom, hoping to go back to sleep, only to find Barbra Jean sleeping in her bed. She scoffed and crawled to the opposite side of the bed. She got under the sheets and sighed before closing her eyes. Her back ached and her stomach churned.

"Reba, I can't believe the way you were acting."

"Shh…"

"No, I won't be quiet." She sat up and looked into the redhead's half-open eyes. "You should be ashamed of yourself. You're a grandmother, not a slutty teenager."

"I am also a grown, single woman, and I can make my own decisions. Now, I thank you for making sure I got home and for taking care of me, but I would like for you to leave." She rolled over and pressed closer to the pillow.

"It's four o'clock in the morning. I'm staying."

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"Mom, are you okay? You look hung-over." Cheyenne giggled as Reba entered the kitchen around noon. She was in a pair of sweatpants and wearing a short-sleeved shirt.

"I'm just a little sick."

"That's not what Barbra Jean said, Mrs. H." Van smiled as he handed her a cup of tea. "Plus, we heard you come in last night."

"Shut up." She took her tea and walked into the living room to lye upon the couch. She felt terrible and wanted a bit more sleep. It would have been the perfect plan, if only Van hadn't insisted upon following her.

"Now listen, I'm all for going out and having fun, but don't you think you're a little old to be doing that?"

"Van, please go away. You're not helping my headache." He shrugged and handed her the bottle of aspirin he had brought from the kitchen. He then found a blanket and tossed it over her body.

"Just holler if you need anything, okay?" She nodded and thanked him as he handed her the remote control and left the room. As soon as she found a channel worth watching she felt herself drifting into sleep.

When Reba opened her eyes she found that she was still on the couch, beneath the same blanket she had earlier. The only difference was the house was quiet. A note on the table in front of her let her know that the kids all left for pizza and a movie and would return soon. She sighed. That would give her enough time to find a better mood before they bothered her.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Lori Ann walked through the front door just as Reba was beginning to really wake up from her sleep.

"Stop acting like you care. You know, I wouldn't have drank so much if it weren't for you." She laughed and took a seat upon the edge of the couch.

"I thought you were a big enough girl to make your own decisions."

"Well…" She sat up, pushing her hair out of her face and pulling back the blankets. "What happened to you last night, by the way? I would have ended up in God knows where if Barbra Jean hadn't insisted on coming with us."

"I met a man who was half my age, and I enjoyed every minute of it." They began walking to the kitchen where Reba put on some water for tea. "You know, people are willing to experiment with a lot more things nowadays."

"Please do not elaborate." Reba cringed a bit as she placed a plate of cookies in front of her friend.

"Oh, I forgot that you have a stick up your ass." She took a bite of her cookie, paying little attention to the eye rolling of her friend.

"I do not."

"Yes you do. You're no fun anymore, Reba."

"Right, because it's so much better to wake up every morning in a stranger's bed, wondering how I'm going to get home."

"You wouldn't be so angry and tightly wound all the time if you would just stop being so self-righteous and let go. Have sex." She filled the cups of tea and moved back toward the table to take a seat.

"Why is it always about sex with you?"

"Because, honey, I'm going to live while I can. And to me that is a big part of living." She took a drink of her tea and watched her friend as she put her hair in a ponytail with the band around her wrist. "Reba, how long has it been for you?"

"It's none of your business."

"Ouch, that long, huh?"

"Okay, we're done with this. How has work been?" Lori Ann laughed and leaned a little closer across the table. It was clear to Reba that she was only beginning. She never understood why her friend was always so interested in her sex life. It had always been like that, ever since they were old enough to have that sort of trust in their friendship.

Barbra Jean entered the kitchen, at what Reba could only identify as the worst possible time of their conversation. She smiled and sat next to her 'best friend' while Lori Ann continued to speak. It wasn't often that she felt embarrassed, but with Barbra Jean there it was happening pretty quickly.

"Hi, ladies. What are we talking about?" Reba only placed her forehead against the table, waiting to listen to what she knew would not end quickly enough.

"Reba hasn't had sex in forever, and I'm trying to get her back on the man."

"Oh…" Barbra Jean was uncomfortable? That was a first. She couldn't believe that Lori Ann even had the power to make someone like Barbra Jean shy away.

"See, Lori Ann, you're the only one who cares whether or not I sleep alone." She stood and filled a cup of tea for their newest addition to the conversation.

"We both know sleeping ain't what I'm talking about. Don't you remember how much fun we used to have?" She stood and followed Reba to the counter, taking her shoulders in her hands to stop the movement. "Don't you remember college? We were so crazy. Why can't we go back to that for a little bit? It'll be good for us."

"How is getting drunk every night, and going home with strangers, good for someone?" Lori Ann sighed, knowing she wouldn't get through to her best friend. They had simply grown in different directions when it came to dating, and she knew she had to accept that. For the moment, at least…


	3. Chapter 3

"Reba, I need your help." Brock burst through her front door just as the family had sat down to watch a movie with popcorn. All eyes turned to him and he shrugged, feeling a little odd about all the attention. He really just wanted to talk to Reba, not the whole family.

"What else is new?" She rolled her eyes and took a drink of her soda.

"I'm serious. Can we talk?" Van sighed and spoke up.

"Come on, Mr. H. we are trying to watch a movie here." Reba stood from the couch and walked to the front door with Brock. It seemed that he was always coming around as of late, and she was becoming very frustrated at his timing.

"Don't worry about pausing it." They exited the house and she took a seat upon the porch swing. She expected him to sit across from her, on the edge of the porch, but he surprisingly sat next to her, perhaps a bit too close. "What do you want?"

"Barbra Jean said she had to take you home the other night. She said you were…" She cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"I can only imagine what she said."

"Are you okay?" She laughed, meeting his eyes. Was he really pretending that he cared?

"Of course I'm okay. Lori Ann and I…" He scoffed, interrupting her mid-sentence.

"She has always been a bad influence on you."

"Would you just shut up? I'm not as impressionable as you make me sound, okay. The decisions I make are mine."

"Of course, I'm sorry." A moment of silence; she hated it when that happened between them. It wasn't like them to stop before an argument, but it just didn't seem that worth it. He knew there was no way he would at all influence her decisions anyway.

"What are you doing here? You said you needed my help."

"Barbra Jean wants me to move back in. I don't know if that's what I want right now." Her eyes widened as she turned to face him. It was then he knew he had spoken too harshly.

"She's your wife, Brock. Why wouldn't you want to go back home?" He stood and walked across the porch, towards the steps.

"I like the freedom. I like to be able to go out and come home whenever I want, without someone grilling me on where I've been. I like to spend time with myself."

"You're selfish."

"That's not what this is about."

"Okay. Say you decide not to go home. What's going to happen when you realize you can't spend the rest of your life alone? You know, Barbra Jean isn't going to be waiting for you forever."

"I know."

"Do you?" She moved to stand behind him, hoping he would hear her more clearly. "Because sometimes I think you just talk to hear your head rattle."

"Let's go for a drive." He turned to face her, noticing the surprised look on her face. "Please. We'll get a pizza and watch a movie at my condo. You remember when we used to do that in college?" She chuckled, her hands upon her hips.

"Go home, Brock…to your wife." She began to walk away, but his hand wrapping around her own stopped her motion. "Seriously…"

"Why can't we be friends anymore?"

"Are you kidding? Men and women can only be friends for so long before one of them takes it to the next level, usually the man."

"That's a lie. You've had guy friends you haven't slept with." She laughed, raising an eyebrow to indicate that he was not even close to being correct. "Wait. You mean I'm not the only man you've been with?"

"Don't worry. I've never compared." She began to reenter the house, taking one last look at her ex-husband. "Go home."

And with that she was gone, back to her kids and their movie. He sighed, wishing she would have gone with him. He missed their friendship, but he most of all missed her. He missed her laugh, the way she would make fun of him, he even missed fighting with her, but they weren't currently that close. He wished so much that she would allow him back in her life. If he couldn't be married to her, he at least wanted to remain friends, even though she didn't think that was possible.

Thanks for the reviews! They make me smile!


	4. Chapter 4

Reba sighed as she watched her eldest daughter and her son-in-law picking the music for their ceremony. They were renewing their wedding vows in two days and their music was the last step in completing the preparation process. Not only were they renewing their vows, they had also begun moving their belongings into their new house around the corner. She hated that they were leaving.

Kyra was still living with Barbra Jean and Brock, since he thankfully took her advice and returned to his family, and she would only be left with Jake. It was sad to her that a family that started out so large could suddenly end with two people. It was then she realized how lonely it would really be. Jake couldn't spend all of his time with her, after all. He was gone enough as it was.

She shook the lonely thoughts from her head and began unloading the dishwasher. She felt somewhat lifeless at the moment. Even though she knew it would pass soon enough, it still made her feel empty. After putting away the last of the dishes, Reba put her cell phone in her pocket before she walked out the back door. The breeze was warm on her face as she walked down the sidewalk, towards the park.

The sun had already begun to set and she hoped to make it to the park in time to watch it over the hill. When she and Brock had first married they used to walk to a specific hill in the park and watch the setting sun. She did it alone, occasionally, especially when she was feeling so empty. It reminded her that the sun sets on the day that passed and rises to a new day. It, somehow, gave her hope.

She made it to the hill with time to spare, and she took a seat on the warm grass to wait. A few birds whistled in the distance while the last of the children went home to their parents. She sighed, thinking about how even at the park she was being left alone. Perhaps Lori Ann was right, she thought. Maybe she should loosen up more around men. It would certainly leave her less lonely, at least sometimes. She just hated the thought of wanting someone by her side so badly.

"I can't believe you still come here." She turned her head to find Brock's smiling face, standing behind her.

"You too?"

"Of course I do. Can I join you?" She nodded and faced the setting sun, watching as the clouds sparkled. Brock sat next to her, crossing his ankles in front of him. They sat still for a few moments, silent. The atmosphere was too peaceful to break so quickly, but she ultimately did.

"How's the home life? Are you and Barbra Jean getting along?"

"To be honest, it feels numb." He chuckled, leaning back upon his hands as a butterfly made its way across the open air. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes. You feel like there's nothing ahead for you and maybe you're destined to stay exactly like you are right now."

"Lonely?"

"Lonely and empty…" She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. He looked at her, and she could feel his eyes weighing upon her face, but she didn't look at him. The sky was such a beautiful pink and gold that she couldn't remove her eyes from the sight.

"Is that how you feel too, Reba?"

"Sometimes it catches me at a weak moment…like now. It'll be gone by tomorrow, I'm sure." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, surprised when she didn't push him away. Instead, she laid her head upon his shoulder and allowed his fingers to play with the hem on her short-sleeved shirt.

"I told her I was going to get some paperwork I forgot at the office. I'm already lying to her again, and it makes me sick."

"Then why don't you tell her how you feel. She may be crazy, but she's rational enough to understand that you need space."

"She'll come to her own crazy conclusions, thinking I'm having an affair or going through a mid-life crisis. It'll be more of a hassle than a help."

"Well, that's you, Brock. Always taking the easy way out."

"Do we have to fight?" She shrugged, letting it go. It was so warm and peaceful around them that she didn't feel the need to push the conversation.

"I'm sorry. It's a natural habit to be confrontational with you." He laughed, but she noticed that his hand had moved from her shoulder to her hip, pulling her closer. It seemed innocent enough, but she felt a bit uncomfortable at his touch. It was hard for her to tell if he even noticed where his hand was resting, but it _was_ Brock so she assumed he knew very well what was happening.

"You've always been like that. But it's just me right now. You can let your guard down a little bit. I wouldn't mind seeing you smile." He shook closer to her at his words, but she only rolled her eyes.

"Why would I smile? You aren't funny, and if your hand gets any lower I'll have to rip it off." She met his eyes, giving him an agitated smirk. He laughed, but his hand didn't move from her hip. Instead, he got a mischievous look upon his face.

"Oh, really?"

"I mean it." She began to pull away from him, but he pulled her closer. His other hand reached for her stomach and began to tickle her. "Stop it!" He continued to tickle, wrapping his arms tighter around her as she tried to hurry away. Her giggle couldn't be restrained after a moment of teasing. "Damn it, Brock!"

"That's the Reba I know." He stopped his tickling, but didn't release her.

"You're an idiot."

"I thought you liked that about me." She met his eyes, a small smile upon her face. He returned the smile, and as the sun began to fall below the ground he leaned forward. His lips touched hers in a way they hadn't since their first kiss. Her first instinct was to push him away, but he grasped her wrists in his hands to stop her. He wanted to at least see if they still had the sparks.

He felt her sigh against his mouth as he released her hands, and they made their way around his neck to pull him closer. She didn't think. All she allowed herself to do was experience the feeling in her stomach. His hands traveled down her back, causing her to shiver, as they reached the bare skin above her jeans.

While the last rays of light shot through the air, his tongue entered between her lips, sending jolts through her stomach. And as the sun finally disappeared and the sky grew dark, she felt her back hit the cool grass as he lay atop her body. His fingers ran through her hair, and she felt his knee coaxing her legs apart.

Their kiss continued as his hands made their way to her stomach, pushing slowly beneath her shirt to feel her soft skin. She closed her eyes and sighed as his kiss began to move down her neck, his hands moving upward by the second. It was then, as his teeth bit into her flesh, his hands caressed her barely covered breasts and his erection pressed against her thigh, her heart raced and her eyes snapped open.

"No! No, no, no, no!" She pushed him off her and hurried to stand. Her mind was racing and her breath was fast. He looked just as shocked as she, so she found no sense in blaming him.

"Wow…" Her eyes grew wide with frustration, anger.

"Is that all you can say?" He stood, equally confused. Words couldn't form upon his lips and he just shrugged.

"I…I'm sorry…I don't know what came over me." She began pacing in front of him.

"It was me too; that's the problem!" She suddenly stopped, her eyes wide. "What will Barbra Jean say? Oh, God." She covered her face with her hands, but he moved forward to pull her hands away, looking into her eyes. "Don't touch me."

"Sorry." He took a step backwards, placing his hands behind his back. "It was just a kiss, pretty chaste really. She doesn't have to know."

"Chaste? Brock, please don't make me explain all the reasons why that wasn't considered chaste." He fumbled for words, stuttering like a fool. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay, look. I'm not saying anything to her, that's all on you. Let's just forget about this."

And with her final words she walked away, turning her back on him and all memories of their hill in the park.


	5. Chapter 5

Lori Ann sat in silence as Reba finished telling her story, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment. She could've tried to keep the story to herself, but it would have ended up eating her alive. Perhaps if she told her best friend, she thought, it wouldn't weigh so harshly upon her stomach.

"Oh, Reba…that kind of makes me feel sick."

"Well, how do you think I feel?" She raised her eyebrows, tears threatening to fall from her eyes, but she held them back. She refused to let anyone see her cry in the light of day. "I feel like the worst person in the world right now."

"It was just a kiss, no matter how disgusting it was."

"You don't understand, Lori Ann, it wasn't 'just a kiss.' It was…kissing and touching and…" She groaned, placing her face against the table. "What have I done?"

"Don't be so dramatic. He was yours first." She stood to fill their cups of coffee, taking a break from the tense moment at the table. It was rare that she felt at a loss for words, but it was suddenly difficult to speak.

"That doesn't make it right." Silence, once again there was silence. Reba hated that. She began feeling that she shouldn't have shared her latest experience. Lori Ann resumed her place at the table, taking one of Reba's hands in her own.

"Honey, don't think about Barbra Jean for a minute. How did it make you feel? Did you want him?"

"I…"

"Don't think about her." She sighed, remembering the feeling of his lips.

"I did…I guess I do, but it is so wrong. I should hate him."

"Listen, I'm going to be serious with you right now, okay." She leaned close, meeting Reba's deep blue eyes with all solemnity. "I think you should take a deep breath, stop feeling so bad about what happened, and just be as normal as possible around him. It is his responsibility to tell his wife, not yours. You have nothing to feel guilty for because it is his issue with her."

"But she's my friend too, whether I like it or not."

"I can tell I'm not getting anywhere with you. I have to catch my plane." They stood, hugging one another. "Call me if you need me. I'll only be gone for a few months."

"Only…" She smiled at her friend and led her to the door. They said their goodbyes, and she was left alone. She had no idea what she was going to do, but something had to give. She couldn't live with such guilt. However, when Barbra Jean came to visit that afternoon she said nothing about the kiss. She watched her happy friend help her bake cookies as she spoke of how happy she was with Brock. Even though it hurt, she kept a hold of the silence she so desperately despised.


	6. Chapter 6

"Thanks." She smiled to Barbra Jean as the blonde zipped her dress for her. It was light purple with a fitted waist and flowing skirt. Barbra Jean was wearing blue, a beautiful color on her, thought Reba.

They had been spending a lot of time together for the past few days. She had yet to speak to Brock since their incident, but she could tell that he didn't tell his wife what they had done. It was obvious because she was still wearing a constant smile upon her face. Every day she smiled a bright mood that Reba couldn't allow herself to find.

The ceremony was beautiful as Van and Cheyenne renewed their vows. It was classy, especially since they refused to allow Barbra Jean to help them. Reba spent most of her time sitting at the bar, though. Champagne flowed freely and she allowed herself to get tipsy before she stopped. There was no point in making a fool of herself at her daughter's vow renewal. Instead of trying to mingle with her family, her parents and her siblings, she decided to take a breath outside.

There was a breeze, but it was warm enough that she didn't need her wrap. She walked around the pool, which was lighted beautifully with lanterns. The house was beautiful. It was one of those places they rented out to wedding parties and such, and Reba was surprised at how wonderful everything looked without her help. It also hurt a bit that Cheyenne could get along so well without her. It had rarely happened.

As she walked around the back of the building she noticed Brock and her brother, Paul, talking and smoking. She rolled her eyes and walked closer to them, smiling as they noticed her arrival. The three had always had fun together when they were younger and when they still lived back in Oklahoma. They were often like the 'Three Musketeers,' or something. They always seemed to get into some kind of trouble together.

"What are y'all doing?" Brock tossed his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, wondering if she would tell his wife. Paul, however, smiled to his younger sister.

"Don't act like you've never smoked." She rolled her eyes, taking the cigarette from his fingers and lifting it to her lips for her own quick fix before tossing it to the ground. He smiled at her, pushing her arm a bit in a teasing manner.

The three chatted for a while, joking about all the stupid things they did when they were young. It felt good to be so close to her brother again, and Brock as well, if she had to be honest. It was fun to feel so loose and free, almost as if they were twenty again.

"Paul, the kids are fighting. Let's go." Paul's wife stepped around the corner of the building, hands upon her hips. "It was nice to see you again Reba." She smiled very fake-like, before she rushed away. Paul laughed and shook hands with Brock before taking his sister into a hug.

"It was good to see you, Paul. Call me when you get home." He pulled away, patting her arm.

"I will. You keep out of trouble, Reebs." She smiled to her brother as he followed his wife. And suddenly they were alone. His eyes met hers and he smiled. She shrugged and began to walk away, back towards the party, but his hand grabbed her wrist. They had gotten way too close during the half hour they spent together.

"No." She pulled away and continued walking, but he followed her, stopping her from going towards the corner of the building. It was then she realized how dark it was around them. They were far away from any other person at the party. It was frightening because she didn't trust herself. It was right then that she knew what she was inevitably going to do. And she certainly did not approve.

"What is going on between us?"

"Nothing. Please, let's keep it that way." His face was close to hers, causing her stomach to do summersaults. His pupils were wide, and it was obvious he had been drinking. So had she and her mind was definitely clouded; along with her judgment.

"Reba, I want you, and I don't want to control myself right now." She bit her lip, wishing she had the strength to leave. But his lips were so soft and sensual, and it had been so long since she had been touched the way he wanted to touch her. She leaned forward and kissed him, hard, pulling him close by the collar of his shirt. Her tongue entered his mouth immediately.

She wasn't giving herself time to think as she began unbuttoning his shirt, running her fingers over his chest. He seemed shocked by her actions, but quickly followed her lead and pressed her back against the brick wall of the building. His hands ran over her hips before she pulled his jacked off, tossing it to the ground.

Her fingers rushed to his belt, unbuckling it and going for the button and zipper on his pants. He took her wrists in his hands, pressing them above her head as their kiss reached a searing heat. He wanted to go slow, to make it last, but she was trying to hurry. It was difficult for him to understand her actions. He pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Don't look at me." She leaned forward to kiss him again, hoping he would follow her command and continue, but he pulled away once more.

"Why?"

"I don't want to change my mind." He nodded quickly and kissed her, releasing her hands and running his up her legs to push down her panties, placing them upon his discarded jacket. She pushed her hands beneath the waistband of his boxers, baring him to her as he pulled up her dress. He began kissing her neck as he wrapped her leg around his hips and prepared to make a connection. "Do you have anything?" He stopped, sighing.

"Aren't you on the pill?"

"No." Of course she wasn't; she had no reason to be since she hadn't been with anyone since their last time. And, of course, his wife insisted upon him getting his vasectomy reversed. She made the mistake of thinking about their situation. It was wrong. Flashes of what their future would hold if they continued ran through her mind. She shook her head, biting her lip as she felt the warmth of his hand while it shifted against her bare thigh. "Well, come on then."

"What?" He had never known her to risk something like that, but her tone was demanding. She wanted him more than ever. "We don't…"

"Stop talking and fuck me, now." He had rarely, if ever, heard the word from her lips, but he thought it best to obey. He entered her in one swift push, feeling her gasp and tense.

It hurt, for having been so long since her last time, and she held his waist tight until the pain subsided. He watched the look upon her face, and it made him uncomfortable to think he was hurting her in any way. She sighed and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck before she kissed him, indicating that it was alright to move, and she met his pace by squeezing his hips with her leg as the other kept her balance on the ground.

He moved slowly at first, able to tell that it had been a long while for her, but her lips became more demanding. Soon he had picked up the pace and lifted her so she could squeeze his waist with both of her legs, coiling around him with all her strength. She placed her hand on a windowsill, steadying them as he bit her lip.

"Hi Aunt Sandy." Cheyenne hugged Reba's younger sister, who had been looking for Reba for the past twenty minutes. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Oh, darlin' I wouldn't miss this for the world. You look so beautiful." Cheyenne smiled, a bashful look playing with her features.

"Guilty." Sandy smiled, holding her niece's hand for a moment.

"Listen, I have to get some sleep, but I can't find your mom. I'm supposed to stay at her house." They laughed at the oddity that Reba wasn't around, all of a sudden, when usually she never left the party.

"Last time I saw her she was looking at the pool." She smiled and was off, in search of her sister. It wouldn't have normally been such a big deal to find her, but she was jetlagged from her flight, and she wanted to get some sleep if they were going to spend the following day together.

She walked out of the house and around the pool, hoping that perhaps Reba was still observing the decorations. She wasn't answering any text messages, so it was her only option at the moment. She began to walk around the side of the house.

His teeth bit into her shoulder as she moved her hips hard against his. They were close, and her head was spinning with excitement. She couldn't breathe. His hands were everywhere, grasping her curves and holding her close. Suddenly, she began to shiver, gasping and convulsing as she let go. That was all it took for him to let go as well and he moved through their pleasure until the waves ceased.

He kissed her and pulled out, allowing her to find her footing before pulling away and zipping his pants. There was no need for someone to catch them in their situation. Reba stood still while he hurried to redress himself, shoving her panties into her hand as he did so. Her stomach was shaking and her legs felt like water.

"Reba?" Her eyes sprang open and hurriedly met Brock's, who looked equally in shock at the sound of her sister's voice. Just as Sandy walked around the corner of the house, Reba smiled to her, hiding her panties behind her back. He took them in his hand and shoved them in his pocket. "There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

"Oh, you know me. Sometimes the crowd is too much." She laughed, hardly convincingly, but her sister seemed to buy it for the moment.

"Well, I am falling asleep in there. Are you ready to go back to your place? I brought some movies for us to watch."

"Sure. I just have to say goodbye to the kids." She sighed a bit, beginning to walk with Sandy.

"You're not speaking too clearly, Reba. Are you drunk?"

"God, I must be." She looked back at Brock, raising her eyebrows in a look of warning, and he immediately knew that he was looking forward to being yelled at next time they met, for whatever reason. He watched as she left his side, so quickly after rocking his world.


	7. Chapter 7

Reba and Sandy were seated upon her couch after a day of shopping. Jake was hanging out at Van and Cheyenne's house so they had time to themselves, which was much needed since they hadn't seen one another since Christmas. They were flipping through some of Kyra's teen magazines, taking the quizzes like they used to when they were kids. Laughter was contagious, and Reba was grateful because her mind was heavy with guilt.

"Oh, Reba, I can't remember the last time we laughed like this."

"I know. I'm glad you stayed an extra day. It sure beats talking to Barbra Jean all the time, believe me." She laughed, but Sandy stopped all of a sudden.

"She seems really nice. You don't have to be so mean."

"What? Oh, she likes it. It's the balance of nature."

"Well, how is Brock? I think you and Paul spent the most time with him yesterday." Reba took a drink of her tea, feeling uncomfortable at the inquiry, as well as the observation.

"Fine, I guess." She shrugged, but Sandy gave her a look that she couldn't identify.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but…are you sleeping with him?" Reba's eyes grew wide, and she hurriedly stumbled for words.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Well, you were alone for a while last night…"

"We were just talking."

"And your lipstick was smeared, and your hair was a mess, and…"

"What do you want me to say, Sandy?" Her eyes told the truth and her sister shook her head in disbelief. Reba shrugged, feeling more embarrassed than she imagined. She couldn't believe the one who found out first would be her little sister, the one who had always looked up to her growing up.

"He's a married man." She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin upon them.

"I know."

"How could you do that to someone when you know exactly how it feels? I always thought you had better judgment than that."

"I did too." She hung her head. What could she do? Yelling at Sandy wouldn't solve anything, and it certainly wouldn't make her feel better. "It just happened once, last night. I feel awful. It's the worst thing I've ever done."

"What would Mama think if she knew?"

"Don't tell her! Don't tell anyone!"

"I would never." She ran a hand through her fiery red hair, biting her lip to stop the tears from falling. It didn't work though. She could feel her body beginning to shake as the tears fell from her eyes. "Aw, Reba." Her sister pulled her close as she cried into her shoulder, finally able to let her feelings out. It was an odd role-reversal, but it was comfortable just the same.

"Don't think less of me, please…" Sandy shushed her and pulled her face to meet her own, wiping away a few tears.

"You're my big sister, my best friend, and that's all I will ever see you as. But, please, please think about what you're doing here. You are fighting with fire, and there is no way you will win something like this. Somebody is going to get hurt no matter what you do."

Brock walked through Reba's front door, bursting into her house like he always did. However, he was met with the sight of Reba jumping from her sister's arms and wiping her tears away. He met Sandy's eyes and he immediately could tell that she knew. He shrugged and closed the door behind him. But she didn't say a word; she only watched their exchange with an angry glare.

"Are you okay?" He looked to Reba, raising his eyebrows in question.

"What do you want?" He walked closer, but stopped when he saw the look in her eyes. She was hurting, and it was his fault. Even though she consented to their actions the previous night, he still felt that he had taken advantage of her.

"I just came over to check on you."

"I'm fine. Leave." He looked between the two on the couch, and he followed her request.


	8. Chapter 8

_Are you still awake?_

Brock's text message caught her off guard as she lay in bed, checking her email on her phone. She hadn't spoken to him since the day her sister left for Oklahoma, two days before.

_Yes._

_If I call you, will you answer?_

She rolled her eyes and pressed the call button on her phone. She didn't have time for his games. The initiative needed to be taken by her, as usual.

"Hello?"

"Brock, what do you want?"

"I want to talk about what happened the other night."

"Over the phone? How classy." She shifted in her bed, rolling over onto her side.

"Can I come over then?"

"It's late, Brock."

"It won't take me long. I'm on your porch." She sat up in bed, tossing her legs over the side and rushing to her window that overlooked the front porch. And, sure enough, Brock was standing on the steps with his phone pressed to his ear. He was determined to talk about their situation, and she agreed to at least give him the closure they both needed.

She walked downstairs, in only her tee shirt and pajama pants, and she opened the front door for him. He entered, and she immediately felt a strong tension follow him. She closed the door and met his blue eyes, which sparkled in the light of the moon. He didn't speak for a moment, allowing the words to form in their minds. If Reba had to be honest, she had no idea what she wanted to say to him.

"Did you tell her?"

"No, I didn't."

"I think you should. You don't have to tell her it was me or anything, but I do think you should tell her. I mean…"

"Please let me handle her. Right now I am worried about how you feel." She looked to the side for a moment, unsure of how she felt. Of course she was embarrassed, guilty and she felt a fool. "How do you feel?"

"I feel like shit. You should feel the same."

"But I don't. The other night was incredible…"

"No it wasn't! Brock, the other night was wrong!" Her voice got a bit too loud for his liking and he rushed forward to grab her shoulders, silencing her.

"Jake is asleep." He could see the anger in her eyes, but it was determined to make her agree to his next request. He leaned forward and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her waist. It was out of context, and he knew it, but she would have less of a chance to pull away if she was caught off guard. She moved too quickly though, pushing him away.

"No."

"Why not? We're both consenting adults. Shouldn't we be able to do what we want?"

"You're married, and it's not what I want."

"You're lying. If you didn't want me then you would have said no. You would have hit me and cussed at me and pushed me away. But you didn't."

"Shut up." She began to walk up the stairs, but he harshly grabbed her wrists to stall her motion. "Let go!"

"The only reason you're lying is because you are too scared to admit that you want to do something bad. Reba is too afraid to not be the good girl. You want to be a slut for the first time in your adult life, and it kills you that nothing is standing in your way."

"Your wife is standing in my way."

"Well, she's not here right now." Their eyes met, all of their anger for one another turning into something that she could barely register before she rushed into his arms, kissing him with force. They began fumbling up the stairs, hands running roughly over one another's bodies in a lustful attempt to make it to the bed in time.

They tossed the door of her bedroom closed, as quietly as they could so they wouldn't wake their son, and his hands immediately lifted her shirt over her head. His lips attacked her throat, causing a sigh to escape her mouth. Her fingers undid his pants and he removed his own shirt as he laid her upon the bed.

She couldn't believe what she was doing…again. It wasn't like her, and she knew the consequences would be fatal. There was just no explanation for the way she was acting. Wasn't she too old to make such ridiculous mistakes? She answered her question quickly as their bodies became bare, he found a condom in her night table, and he entered her.

"I hate you." Her words made him chuckle as he kissed her, feeling her wrap her legs around his waist. His lips found her ear as he continued to thrust.

"That's what makes it so exciting." She rolled her eyes at how confident he was, feeling as if he could be in control of her in such a circumstance. Unwilling to let him feel so self-assured any longer, she rallied up her strength and rolled them over, setting the pace she desired.

She was thankful the lights were off because it had been years since he saw her without clothing. Even the most recent time they had sex she had still been almost fully dressed so she didn't feel too self-conscious about her body. Either way it didn't matter much; he was driving her crazy with his thrusts, his caresses. It was so animalistic, so carnal. It was unlike anything they had ever experienced during their married life, and that had been twenty years.

Her hands gripped his shoulders as she moved hard on top of him, and she could feel his fingers digging into her hips with pleasure. She gasped, perhaps louder than she expected, as an orgasm ruptured within her stomach, throughout her soul. She lay against his chest, kissing his neck as she continued to move her hips as the waves sloshed around inside, almost crippling her ability to function.

He rolled them over, taking her weakness as his strength, and plowed into her once more. After just a moment he joined her in ecstasy, collapsing atop her sweaty skin. She held her eyes closed, trying to calm her heavy breathing. They were panting, gasping for air in the heat of the dark room.

He pulled out and roll off her, lying next to her as she pulled the blanket to cover her nakedness from his eyes. As she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, she wondered what was going to happen next. She wondered what kind of a person had sex with their married ex-husband. Her Mama would nearly kill her if she found out what she was doing.

"Brock, why are we doing this?" Her voice sounded soft; she hated that. It sounded weak, and she was by no means weak.

"I don't know. To be honest, it kind of scares me."

"Me too." She sighed, thankful that he was finally showing some remorse for their actions. He had always had a tendency to shut down and hide his feelings to the point where he seemed almost cold. Okay, she had to admit, maybe that was her. But he still tended to push any bad thoughts to the side to deal with later. That was also something that she couldn't stand about him. He never wanted to confront an issue. "What does this mean?"

"I don't know."

"Stop saying you don't know. Give me something to go with so I can stop panicking." She sat up a bit to look at him, but his eyes were heavy. She slapped his arm. "Oh, no, you can't fall asleep here. Are you crazy?"

"Babe…" He sat up as well, meeting her eyes as she immediately interrupted him.

"Don't call me that." A wrinkle formed between her eyebrows as she frowned, his warning look. The little pet name was too familiar for her liking.

"Sorry…Reba, I'm just as confused as you are right now. I can't give you any answers that I don't have." She readjusted herself on the bed so she could fully face him. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"We're too old for this."

"For sex?"

"No, you idiot, for making mistakes like this; we're too old for it."

"We obviously had some unfinished business, so maybe it wasn't a mistake. Maybe it was supposed to happen like this."

"But I don't love you."

"I don't love you either."

"Then what is this? What are we doing here?" He took her hand in his, surprised that she didn't pull away.

"We are helping each other with our loneliness."

"It's so wrong." She whispered to herself and lay back down in her bed, admitting defeat. There was only so much to say when they were basically on the same page. "You should go home."

"Yeah, I should. Will you call me tomorrow?"

"No. Drop by after supper, if you want." He nodded and leaned down to kiss her lips, softly, lingering in case it was the last time she would allow him the pleasure of doing so. He placed his fingers to her cheek, feeling that it was wet from her tears, before he stood and dressed. She listened to him lock the front door behind him as he left her house. It was then that her tears really began to fall, wracking her body with sobs.


	9. Chapter 9

Cheyenne entered her mother's house around Noontime, smiling and carrying a plate of cookies. After she and Van returned from the doctor she decided that the first place she had to go was her mother's house. She walked into the kitchen to find her mother and Jake seated at the table, eating their lunch.

"Hello." She smiled, taking a seat next to Reba. She placed the cookies in the center of the table, eliciting a confused look from the others.

"Cheyenne, you've been baking?" Reba took the initiative to speak while Jake reached over to the plate and took a homemade cookie, sniffing it a bit before taking a bite. He cringed a bit, but hid it well, and smiled.

"Wow, it's really good." He took the remainder of the cookie with him as he went outside to ride his bike, tossing it in the garbage can once he was out of sight.

"I'm glad he's gone, actually, because I have to tell you something." Reba's eyes widened, and she took a deep breath.

"It's nothing bad is it?"

"That depends on how you look at it, but I don't think it is. I'm pregnant."

"What? Oh my gosh!" Reba reached forward and pulled her into a hug, jumping at the first excitement she had heard in a long while. "How far along are you?"

"Already three months. I just didn't find out for sure until this morning."

"Three months? Oh, I'm so happy for you! Do you have an ultrasound picture?" She pulled the picture out of her purse, smiling as she pointed out all of the appendages and tiny things the doctor had recently explained to her.

Reba sat in front of the television and ate her dinner. It was a simple sandwich so she didn't mind eating in front of the TV, especially since Jake was at a friend's for the evening. She had been pushing her recent dalliance with Brock to the back of her mind all day, but it was finally at its breaking point. Thoughts of him flooded her mind, confusing her and making her angry all at the same time.

She could lie to herself all she wanted, but she knew she couldn't escape the fact that she wanted him. Whether it was wrong or not, she wanted him. There had always been a strong attraction between them so she knew she shouldn't feel guilty for that. And even when they divorced it wasn't because they didn't love or feel attraction for one another anymore, it was because he cheated on her.

Maybe he was just born to cheat. She had to wonder since he always seemed to fall into that category of husband, but she hated to think so little of him. She rolled her eyes at the thought of making excuses for him. He was a flake, a child, and she hurried to stop defending him. She was the one she needed to worry about. He respected her, and she knew that nothing would have ever happened between them if she would have just said no. But how could she say no to those inviting, blue eyes?

"Reba!" Barbra Jean burst through the front door, tears in her eyes. Reba felt her heart jump, wondering if her best friend knew she had slept with her husband.

"What's going on?" She sat on the couch, and the redhead took her hand in her own. "Are you okay?"

"It's Big Daddy. He had a heart attack, and I need to fly out tonight."

"What? Is he okay?"

"The doctors have to do surgery, but he's stable right now. I have to be there."

"Do you need a ride to the airport or something? Is there anything I can do?" Reba felt terrible for her friend, even worse than before if that was possible.

"You're such a good friend." She reached forward and they hugged in a comforting motion. "I just need you to take care of my house and feed and water my husband while I'm gone. I shouldn't be more than a week, but he is such a pig." She laughed a bit through her tears.

"You call me when you get there, okay? I don't care what time it is. Keep me posted."

"Thank you." They hugged once more, and Barbra jean left for Fisheye Bottom to see her Daddy. And Reba was left to feel more guilt than before, glad that Brock didn't show his face that day.


	10. Chapter 10

Reba entered Brock and Barbra Jean's house after work. Barbra Jean had called her once her father came out of surgery to say that the next couple of days were crucial, but he was doing well enough. She was positive about the situation, as usual, and it made Reba happy that their prayers were being answered.

She walked into the kitchen and filled a cup with water so she could water the plants around the house. She knew Brock wouldn't do it, since he was basically a child himself, so she figured she would do some of the tasks her friend would appreciate. She fed the dog and ran the vacuum cleaner before Brock came home from work. A sigh escaped her lips at the sight of her ex. She was hoping to leave before he came home.

"Reba? What are you doing here?" He tossed his jacket over the back of the couch and took a seat, taking off his shoes.

"Your wife asked me to feed and water you while she was gone. Why didn't you go with her, Kyra, and Henry, by the way? Shouldn't you be her support?"

"I tried, but she said it would just cause more drama since they all hate me."

"I wonder why." Her sarcasm was not at all missed, and he rolled his eyes. She walked towards the kitchen to put a dust rag away when he called after her. "Will you bring me a beer?"

"I'm leaving." She walked past him, without his beer, and began to open the door.

"Wait. Don't go." She turned around, her brow furrowed in question. He hurried to her side, taking her hands in his. "Why don't you hang out over here with me for a while?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Jake can't be trusted home alone."

"Not even for an hour?"

"No." She tried to leave again, but he didn't let go of her hands. "You want to come over for dinner and a movie with Jake and me? That's all you're going to get."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes." He leaned forward and kissed her lips before rushing up the stairs to change his clothes. She stood shocked for a moment, unsure why his kiss was so…tempting.

She was left with two options: go home and start supper or she could follow him. She knew what she wanted to do, but that was not at all acceptable. She had to wonder how he could act so casual around her after the things they had done throughout the past week. They had made love twice, if that's what one would call it, and he treated her the same as he had when they were only exes.

Her feet began to move towards the stairs, without her permission. Yes, she wanted to rush upstairs and rip his clothes off and take him. She stopped her feet from moving and turned around, leaving as quickly as she could. She refused to allow herself to give in to him anymore. As she walked down the sidewalk to her house she vowed to herself that she would never so much as touch her ex-husband again.

"What do you think would happen if she found out?" Brock asked as he held Reba to his side, kissing her forehead. He wrapped his arm tighter around her as she adjusted the sheets over her chest.

"If she found out then we would both have to move because everyone within a ten-mile radius of here would know what awful people we are."

"And our kids?" She sighed, continuing to run her fingertips over his bare chest, noticing that he had been working out.

"Our kids…they would have so much trouble forgiving us. They can never know."

"Reba, I'm sorry for all of this. I should have kept control of myself…"

"Shh. It's just as much my fault as it is yours…as disgusting as that sounds." And it was true. Even though he was the one who had initiated their encounters, she was the one who took it to the next level. He would have been happy enough with just being able to kiss her every now and then, but she was the one who couldn't keep it in her pants.

Silence echoed throughout her bedroom, which was palely lit from the shining of the moon. It was late, and she knew she would regret not getting her proper amount of rest the next day, but she didn't want him to leave. As crazy as it sounded, she liked having him hold her in his arms. Though, she would never admit that to him.

"Is it wrong that I don't want to stop doing this?"

"Yes."

"You don't want to stop it either, do you?" He placed his finger beneath her chin and lifted her face so their eyes could meet. She looked back and forth between his shining eyes, feeling her heart melt for whatever reason.

"I can't stand hurting them."

"I can't either, but they have all come to expect disappointment from me." He chuckled, but she didn't laugh. She wanted them to be serious while their conversation lasted. "What if we don't tell anyone? We can let this thing run its course, and then we can move on. Nobody gets hurt, and we can get this out of our systems."

"I can't do that. It isn't you, it isn't even our kids, but it's Barbra Jean. You're married." He nodded, leaning down to place a kiss upon her lips. She giggled a bit, causing him to pull away. "She asked me to take care of you while she was gone. She probably didn't mean like this, huh?" He laughed, rolling over on top of her, feeling their bare skin touching.

"I've missed this, you. There's something about you, Reba, that isn't like any other woman I've ever met." She smiled, feeling the sincerity of his words. In the broad light of day she would have laughed at him for being so 'mushy,' but in the warmth of her bed it was different. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, pressing her lips to his ear.

"I don't think one more time would hurt." And they kissed.


	11. Chapter 11

She had told him one more time and then it would be over. She should have known that was a lie. Two days later found them in her bed once more, and two months later found them in her home office for a quickie while the kids and his wife were watching a movie in the house. They were getting risky, she had to admit, but she couldn't keep her hands off him.

They re-entered the living room, Brock holding a stack of papers he 'needed from her office.' They stayed calm and collected as they resumed their seats. Brock wrapped an arm around Barbra Jean, who was seated on the couch, and Reba sat in the chair with Elizabeth upon her lap.

"Mom, are you okay? You look a little flushed." Cheyenne's inquiry brought her out of a fog, quickly.

"Yeah, Mrs. H. you look like you've been yelling." They laughed, but she could barely muster a smile. It made her uncomfortable to lie to her family, but it would be much worse if she told the truth. The truth wasn't even an option.

"I _was_ yelling, at Brock. Have I ever told you he's an idiot?" Conversation tapered off quickly enough, and they finished watching the movie, never making eye contact.

Cheyenne and Van took Elizabeth home leaving the remaining family members to chat in the living room. Henry was asleep against Barbra Jean's chest and Reba couldn't help but smile at how sweet the two looked. Kyra's words brought the sweetness of the moment to a crashing halt.

"Mom, can I talk to you about something important?" She and her daughter were loading the last of their dishes into the dishwasher, giving them a bit of time alone while Brock and Barbra Jean badgered Jake about a bad grade he got on his report card.

"Of course. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I just need to ask you something." She could tell her daughter was nervous, and she began getting flashbacks of when she found out Cheyenne was pregnant. She had no idea how close she was to the truth. "Okay, I'm just going to say it…" She took a deep breath and Reba prepared for the worst. "My friend Joanne, well, she just found out she's pregnant."

"Oh, honey, that's terrible. What's she going to do?"

"Well, she doesn't have the money for an abortion so I was wondering if you…"

"No."

"Mom, just hear me out."

"Kyra, there is no way in hell I am giving a seventeen-year-old girl money for an abortion." She stood and began pacing, sorting the situation through her mind. "Wait, it really is your friend and not you?"

"Of course it's not me." She paused for a moment, looking her mother in the eyes. "She's thought about this a lot, I promise she has. She should be here in a little bit; we're going to go out tonight. Just talk to her. Listen to her. Please."

"No, honey, this is a place for her parents to step in, not me." She returned to her seat at the table. "They need to sit down and talk this through before making a decision this big."

"Her mom can barely afford their apartment since her boyfriend left, let alone a baby. And, besides, he only left because she was going to tell."

"Tell what?"

"Well, it's his baby…and it wasn't her choice." Reba's heart sank. She had seen situations like that on television talk shows and the news, but it had never existed in her life. It made her feel sick, and she could only imagine what Joanne must feel. "She doesn't want her mom to know. Don't you understand why?"

"I do understand, but…" She shook her head as Kyra took her hands in her own. "Okay, your dad has a friend in Austin that we knew in college. He runs a clinic there. I won't give you any money, but I'll have your dad make a call. But I want you to drive her there and home."

"I will. Thank you so much, Mom." She leaned forward and they hugged, feeling much closer than ever before. Reba held back tears as she watched her daughter walk out the back door. She couldn't believe what she was doing; she hadn't been herself in a long time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cheyenne entered her mother's house after her doctor's appointment to hear shouting from the kitchen, her parents. They were obviously angry, in a heated confrontation, but she hadn't heard them yell so loudly since before they separated. If she had to think, it wasn't usually so bad then. She stopped next to the kitchen entrance to listen, feeling curious all of a sudden. It wasn't often she saw the more personal side of her parents' personalities. She usually only saw a side reserved for parenting.

"You can't expect me to make a call like that! How could you tell Kyra I would?"

"I told you what happened! How could you not make that call?" She slammed her hand against the counter as she yelled, her temper boiling. She tried to make the situation clear to him, but he didn't understand. And then, to top everything off, he was angry with her for even considering helping a teenager get an abortion. It seemed unthinkable to him.

"It's an abortion, Reba, not a trip to the damn grocery store!"

"I know exactly what it is!"

"Well, of course _you_ do!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He rolled his eyes, tossing his hands in the air.

"You're the reason we ever met this guy in the first place!"

"Exactly; which means I know what she's going through!"

"Your situation was different…"

"Because, yes, Brock, I slept around! I don't need you to tell me the whole fucking story over and over again! I just need you to make one phone call, what's so hard about that?"

"You're helping a seventeen-year-old girl make the same mistake you did!"

"I wasn't…" She took a deep breath, calming herself. Her hands were shaking, and her ears were ringing with anger. "She did not make the decision to have sex, her mom's boyfriend did. If we can help her we should."

"It's wrong. It isn't our place to interfere."

"Please don't get me started on why we aren't the people to determine wrong from right." He met her pleading eyes, sighing. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, especially when he knew how close the cause was to her heart.

"I'll make the call."

"Thank you." He nodded and patted her arm before leaving through the back door. Reba sighed and took a seat at the island counter. Cheyenne took that as her cue to enter, smiling as if she hadn't heard anything at all; when in reality the conversation took her breath away.

"Mom, I brought over my sonogram picture." She smiled and tried to hand her mother the tiny piece of photo paper, but she didn't take it. Cheyenne frowned; she knew she'd been caught.

"How much did you hear?"

"A lot, I guess." She sat in the chair next to her mother, feeling the need to be close to her. She looked up and met her expectant, blue eyes. "How old were you? Will you tell me about it?"

"Nineteen." She sighed, never having wanted to tell anyone the story. Besides Lori Ann and Brock, nobody else knew what had happened so long ago, not even her sister. "It was before I was with your dad. Lori Ann and I were at a party; I got really drunk and ended up going home with a guy I just met. I found out I was pregnant when your dad and I became a couple."

"I can't believe it. It doesn't sound like something you would do."

"I panicked. Mama would have killed me, Daddy would have killed him, and I was too selfish to think clearly." Cheyenne took her mother's hand in her own, smiling at their conversation. She knew that Reba didn't want to go into too many details, especially since so much time had passed. So, she began to change the topic, hoping to keep it light.

"I feel really close to you, Mom. I like it."

"I'm not sure I do just yet. Don't tell anyone about this, not even Van."

"Are you kidding? Van can't be trusted." They laughed, feeling the lightness of a new conversation taking way. And that was that.

"So, where's that picture of my new grandbaby?"


	12. Chapter 12

Their tongues fought as they stopped moving, having been slapped harshly with their own orgasms. She sat upon his lap with her legs around his waist, her fingers running through his hair as his trailed down her spine. He broke the kiss and began to move, but she held him close.

"Don't move, please." He smiled at how weak and breathless her voice sounded. It was very feminine and soft, and he found it to be quite beautiful when she let her guard down like that.

She held tight to him, her eyes still closed. Being with her ex-husband had been oddly intense, and she couldn't yet bring herself to move for fear that the high would be broken. Her eyesight had literally left her when she climaxed, startling her at the time. She had never experienced that with a man, not even during her marriage. Maybe she had felt something close, but it had never been as wonderful as only moments before.

"Are you alright?" She giggled a bit, pulling back to look into his eyes. He placed a kiss upon her lips. "That good?"

"Yes." He laughed and pulled out, bringing her to lie next to him beneath the sheet. She kissed his chest, eyes still closed, as she came back to earth.

"Why is it so much different since we're divorced?"

"We're taking our anger out on each other instead of 'making love.'" She rolled her eyes at the words. She had given up on romance a long time ago.

"What's wrong with making love?" He loved asking her questions after they were together. She spoke with no inhibitions, and it made him feel so close to her. He loved watching how relaxed her face was when she lay in his arms.

"It doesn't feel as…intense." She rolled on top of him, straddling his waist with her thighs and lying against his chest. "Besides, you're different when it's like this."

"Like what?"

"When it's just sex. You aren't stressed about hurting my feelings or doing the right thing, you're just you."

"I should say the same about you." He rolled them over, placing kisses on her neck. "You act like you don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders when we are together like this."

"I don't." He pulled back and looked into her eyes, smiling. "What?"

"You're beautiful." She rolled her eyes, pushing him off her. He pulled her with him and they lay face to face, his hand upon her bare hip. "I'm not allowed to compliment you?"

"No. That's not what this is about."

"What is it about?"

"I don't know. Tell me when you figure it out." She closed her eyes and he studied her face, taking in every inch of her he could. For a fleeting moment it felt like they were a couple, in their bedroom, each taking a half-day at work to spend time together. It didn't feel like they were committing adultery.

"Do you know that I haven't slept with her since I moved back home? It's only been you."

"I don't want to know that. It makes me feel too bad."

"It's not your fault."

"Just…don't talk about her right now, okay." He nodded, pulling her close to his chest, taking in the scent of her shampoo as he held her. Before they knew it they had fallen asleep, thankful to awaken before someone saw.


	13. Chapter 13

"Reba, can I talk to you about something?" Her heart began to beat faster as Barbra Jean changed the subject of their conversation. She was fine around her until she began to sound serious. It was then she wondered if she was about to be caught cheating with her husband.

"Sure."

"Are you seeing somebody behind our backs?" She laughed, feeling the sweat begin to prickle upon the back of her neck.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"I don't know. You just seem happier all of a sudden." She shook her head, smiling. What could she say, really? If she said yes then she'd have to tell who it was. There was no point in opening that can of worms. "So, does that mean you'll consider going out with an old boyfriend, perhaps?"

"The reason they are 'old boyfriends' is because I was finished with them. Who?"

"Dr. Morgan! He's back in town. I saw him the other day, and he said he was planning to call you. So, I told him he should just come over here for dinner with us tonight."

"You what?" She stood, panicking. "Barbra Jean I don't have time to cook for everyone tonight. Besides, who says this is okay with me?"

"Oh, I've already ordered some food for us. Your job is to paint on some cleavage and have fun."

"No. You'll have to cancel."

"Too late. He'll be here in two hours." She stood and smiled smugly to the redhead. "Now, I'll go pick up the food and my husband and we'll be over again soon."

Dinner wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. It surprised her how much she actually had missed Jack. He said he was divorced, finally, and he seemed as if he had really grown from his experience. She felt butterflies in her stomach when he smiled at her, and it was almost like nothing had ever happened. It was almost like the first time they met in his office.

Barbra Jean began to talk incessantly about how happy she and Brock were since his therapy, as if they had even been with him long enough to make a difference. They held hands, and Reba couldn't stop herself from looking at their joined fingers. She hated to see them showing affection. It made her feel strange.

No, she told herself, it was a good thing. They were going through a rough time in their marriage and it was good for them to show affection. She just couldn't stop herself from feeling…jealous? It was close to jealousy, even if it wasn't. It didn't hurt too much until Barbra Jean kissed him.

It was a small kiss, a peck on the lips, but her heart turned cold. It hurt. She didn't know why it hurt so much, but it pained her heart to see him kissing someone else when they had lustfully bedded one another the night before. Jack's voice brought her out of her thought. She smiled to him and the evening continued.

"Reba, I'm really glad I got to see you tonight."

"It's good to see you too. I wasn't sure I would ever see you again." He smiled and put his arm around her as they walked to the front door. The others had left and it gave them time alone.

"I'm sorry about everything last time, I really am. But I want to start seeing you again." He turned to face her and held her hands. "Will you go out with me…again?"

"Will you break my heart…again?" He looked to their hands, and she knew she had maybe spoken too rashly. Plus she was still hurt by Brock's display in front of her earlier that night, and she was looking to get rid of her frustration somehow. "I'm sorry."

"No, I deserved that. Just, think about it for me. I'm ready to see where we can take this."

"Call me." She smiled, at least willing to think about seeing him again. He leaned down and kissed her, softly upon her lips. She immediately deepened the kiss when she didn't feel the usual spark she had always felt with him. He smiled when he felt her hands touch his face before she broke their kiss.

He left her house, so certain that they were getting back together and life would be wonderful again. She, however, wasn't so sure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She awoke in the middle of the night to the opening and closing of her bedroom door. She quickly sat up in bed and turned on her light, startled. After realizing who was standing in her room, however, her surprise quickly turned to frustration.

"Brock, what are you doing here?" He shrugged and crawled on the opposite side of her bed, kicking off his shoes and wrapping an arm around her stomach. She remained seated, however, and rolled her eyes. "Seriously, you need to call first."

"It's Friday night, you don't have work tomorrow. Why does it matter?"

"Because, what if Jake was home? Or what if I had someone else over?"

"Like Jack?" She met his eyes, and she could see that he had an expectant look upon his face. Was he jealous? Good.

"I'm not sleeping with him, if that's what you're implying. And, even if I was, it has nothing to do with you."

"So how many dates have you gone on?" She rolled her eyes, as if he hadn't even heard what she said to him, and she lay upon her back. His arm wrapped tighter around her and he placed his head on her shoulder.

"Only two, but I told you it's none of your business." She rolled over to face him, finding for the first time that he looked as if he had been on the verge of tears. It was obvious that he and Barbra Jean had been arguing again. "Are you okay?"

"Do you realize how long you and I have been meeting up?"

"Yes, I do." It had been three and a half months. She knew because Cheyenne was almost seven months pregnant and she had been over three months at the renewal of her wedding vows.

He leaned up and kissed her on the lips, pushing some of her hair out of her face. She immediately felt the spark between them and leaned closer to his kiss. She felt him smile as she rolled on top of him, her legs on either side of his waist, before pulling away.

"We aren't in the mood for talking?" She pressed her pelvis against his, causing him to groan at the slight friction.

"No." She sat up and pulled her shirt from her body, revealing her bra clad chest, before she pushed the sheets from between them. She pulled him up into a seated position beneath her and she pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor with hers. She pushed him onto his back immediately after she removed his shirt, not giving him time to make his own moves. She wanted to be in charge since he was the one who basically broke into her house.

She kissed him, moving down his neck and along the center of his chest and stomach. Feeling his heavy breathing beneath her lips made her smile against his skin, so soft, as her hands unbuckled his pants. Her lips followed his pants and boxers down his legs as she removed the rest of his clothing, kissing back up to his thighs. He watched her, curious. She seemed nervous.

Throughout the duration of their relationship, marriage included, she had only put her mouth on him twice. She hated it, always said it was a man's way of degrading a woman, and it made her feel filthy. Her lips made their way all around him while her hands slid up his thighs. He took a deep breath as she came extremely close to him, but he couldn't let her continue.

"Babe, stop." She met his eyes, confused.

"What man in their right mind would turn down…"

"I know how you feel about it, and I would rather you didn't." She crawled back up the length of his body, her nerves easing. She knew she didn't have to do that, but she wanted to make sure he wouldn't get bored with their many rendezvous. She looked forward to seeing him way too much to let him go so soon. "I respect you too much."

She smiled, vaguely wondering if he was just trying to win some kind of points with her, but it didn't matter at the moment. His fingers pushed beneath the band of her pajama pants to slide them down her legs, along with her panties, as he rolled them over. He gave her the same treatment she did him, kissing down the center of her chest and such, only he didn't give her time to think before he kissed her center.

A gasp escaped her lips, the volume surprising her, and her back quickly arched at his touch. His fingers moved over her hips as he worked his tongue in a circle, adding pressure on and off. She grasped the sheets in her hands as she attempted to maintain control over her body. He continued his kissing back up to her lips after a moment, where she eagerly took his tongue in her mouth.

He reached behind her and unhooked her bra, tossing it to the floor before placing his hands behind her knees and pushing them towards her chest as he entered her. She bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood, as they began to move.

He left her house just before the rising of the sun.


	14. Chapter 14

Her hands spanned over Cheyenne's swollen stomach, feeling the movement of her future grandchild beneath her hands. A smile caressed her lips as she remembered the way it felt to be pregnant. She enjoyed it, for the most part, but she was glad that part of her life was over. She enjoyed watching her daughter go through pregnancy a lot more than she liked it for herself.

"I didn't get nearly as fat with Elizabeth, and I even have two months to go." She laughed at her mother's face, bright and happy. "Mom, you act like you've never touched a pregnant stomach before."

"I'm just so happy for you. It's beautiful." She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, oddly enough. She was never a very emotional person, but her daughter's happiness was more than she could ask for. Cheyenne laughed even more. "Oh, you wouldn't understand."

She stood and got two bottles of water from the fridge before resuming her chair at the table. She could feel her daughter's eyes on her the whole while, but she ignored it. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the reason for the staring. It frightened her when she got that look upon her face.

"How are things going with Jack?"

"Fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I don't know. He's fun to hang out with. We went to a movie the other night." She shrugged, taking a drink of her water.

"You don't seem very invested."

"I am. I don't know it just isn't the same as it used to be."

"Why not? Mom, he came back for you."

"He only came back after Barbra Jean invited him over. Who knows if he would have gotten in touch if she wasn't so nosey?"

"Well, how's the sex?" She almost choked on her drink, wishing herself dead. An angry look was shot across the table at her daughter, but she ignored it, being the flake she was. "It's good, right?"

"Cheyenne…" She rolled her eyes and interrupted.

"Please don't tell me it's none of my business. I'm married and will soon have two kids. I know how this goes. And I've heard the way you talk to Lori Ann, so I know you aren't exactly shy."

"Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to wait for sex. I'm not twenty anymore."

"That's exactly why you shouldn't wait. Get it while you can." She laughed, never having heard her daughter speak in such a carefree manner. It was refreshing to hear that she sounded so at ease, so relaxed. It was beautiful. And that thought made a whole new prickle of tears form behind her eyes. If only she would just stay out of her business.

xxxxxxxxxx

She closed her eyes as his lips made their way down her neck. He pushed her back upon the couch and began running his hands over her stomach, over her hips. She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh when he moved, and she sighed when his teeth bit into her chest as he pulled her shirt down a bit.

His hands moved over her breasts, eliciting a small sigh from her lips. His hands were just as talented as his lips, she noticed, and it made her smile. Still, it wasn't the same as…her heart beat faster, and her mind began to scream at her. Brock's face appeared behind her closed eyes. He looked hurt, as if he was watching her every move with pain in his heart.

She shook the though from her head, reaching down to unbutton Jack's shirt. Brock was not going to ruin her time with Jack, even though it was _her_ mind that was playing the tricks. His fingers pushed the button of her jeans through the loop before his hand slipped down her pants. His lips met hers as his fingers played with the thin strap of her panties, but Brock voice sounded loudly in her ear, speaking her name.

"Stop!" He sat up quickly, for her voice had been quite loud. She was breathing heavily, her eyes wide.

"I'm so sorry. Am I moving too fast?" She moved out from beneath him, standing from the couch and buttoning her pants as he moved to a seated position.

"No, it's me. I'm sorry, Jack." She ran her hands over her face, unsure why she couldn't continue. She was simply trying to follow Cheyenne's advice and 'get it while she can,' but all she could see was her ex-husband's face whenever she closed her eyes. Her breathing wouldn't ease, and she was feeling lightheaded.

"Don't be sorry. Are you okay?" He rushed up from the couch, taking her shoulders in his hands as she continued to hyperventilate. It hadn't happened since she was younger, but she knew she was having a panic attack. The stress of lying and sneaking around had caught up to her in one of the worst of all times.

"I…can't breathe." And she couldn't. Her heart was pounding as her lungs desperately pushed for oxygen she couldn't find.

"Okay, come here." He was acting so calm, but she had to admit it was comforting. He moved her to sit upon the couch, leaning forward towards him as he kneeled in front of her on the ground. "Deep breaths, Reba." He placed his hands on either side of her face and made her look into his eyes.

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks, since she had no way of stopping them anyway. She was too panicked to be embarrassed just yet, but her breathing was slowly returning to a steadier pace. He nodded with her deep breaths as the air finally entered her lungs in a way that was satisfactory, and she leaned back against the couch, wiping the tears from her face.

"Thank you." He moved up next to her, placing a hand upon her knee.

"Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm sorry…" She closed her eyes for a moment, unable to pinpoint when exactly the attack began. She knew it had something to do with Brock, even though it wasn't his fault. It was just something her mind had done to her.

"Is something going on with you?" She looked at him, her brow furrowed. He only shrugged. "I've been a therapist long enough to know that the general reason a panic attack occurs is because of some kind of stress. Are you feeling stressed about something?" She rolled her eyes.

"Please don't psychoanalyze me right now. I'm not one of your patients."

"I'm just trying to help you." He took her hand, watching her lean forward towards her knees. She met his eyes. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing."

"Reba…I really want to know."

"No, I promise, you don't."

"Reba..."

"I've been sleeping with Brock. And it's killing me."


	15. Chapter 15

They broke up, but she didn't expect anything different. After confessing that her married ex-husband was also her lover she didn't think Jack would stay around much longer. He agreed not to talk about it, and he listened to her guilty confession, but he didn't want to be with someone who wasn't invested. She frowned at the idea that maybe Cheyenne was right.

She sighed, rolling over in her bed. Barbra Jean took Brock, Henry, Kyra, and Jake to Fisheye Bottom with her to check on her father so there had been no interruption all weekend, except the occasional phone call or text message from Van or Cheyenne. She just couldn't get out of bed.

It had been two days since she did housework. Two days since she had a decent meal as well, but she didn't care. She felt depressed, and her bed was the best place to be. They should have returned home almost an hour ago, but she still hadn't heard from them. It was just as well since she didn't quite care too much at the moment.

Everything was just so messed up. Her relationship with Jack had been very short-lived, and her relationship with Brock, if that's what one would call it, was too hot for her to control. She had, in fact, lost control, and it scared her. She had to wonder if it scared him too.

They didn't talk much, not when they only saw each other for one reason. But as a woman she felt that some conversation was necessary if she was going to just give herself to him in such a way. Though, she had to admit that she was often the one who asked him to stop talking. He always tried to talk deeply about their situation…

But wasn't that what she just decided she missed? She rolled her eyes at her own confliction and rolled over once more. A text message popped up on her phone and she began to read. He wanted to come over. As soon as they had returned he wanted to be with her.

"You don't look so great, babe." She looked towards her bedroom door to find him staring at her.

"I just got your text. How long have you been there?"

"Not long. Are you okay?" He moved closer and removed his shoes, pulling back to covers to join her.

"Jack broke up with me." That wasn't the main reason she was so upset, but it would satisfy him, she supposed.

"Why? I thought you were getting along really well." He lay behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist, resting his head upon hers so they looked in the same direction.

"I had a panic attack."

"You haven't had one of those since…"

"I know. And then I told him about us." She felt him tense, but stopped him before he panicked as well. "He isn't going to tell anyone. I just couldn't stop it. I feel so guilty, Brock, about everything. I had to tell someone before it killed me."

"If you feel so guilty then let's stop." She turned to meet his eyes, waiting for his explanation. "If you're putting your health at risk then we need to stop."

"Do you want to stop?"

"Of course I don't. Do you?"

"Brock, I look forward to seeing you. Every time we're together it's…it keeps getting better. I just need to stop feeling sick to my stomach all the time." He leaned down and kissed her, a reassuring kiss. "How do you do it?"

"I just think about the next time I get to see you, and I push the guilt to the back of my mind. I want this too much to let it stop me." She rolled over and pressed her face to his chest, taking in his scent. "Can I just hold you tonight?"

"I would really like that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"No. Jake is gone enough without your mother taking him for a week. I'd like to spend some time with him this summer too." She walked into her home office, Brock following closely behind her.

"She hasn't seen him in over a year, and she wants to spend time with him too." She turned around to face him, slamming her file down upon her desk.

"Fine. Talk me into it." She raised one of her eyebrows for a moment, letting him understand that the whole conversation had been a game to her. She would have agreed all along, really, but it was more fun to argue a bit. He smirked, stepping closer.

"Shall I explain myself in your room?" She rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance, before a small smirk graced her lips.

"You can't do it on the desk?" She moaned a bit as his lips attacked hers, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as his tongue entered her mouth. His fingers were quick to unbutton her shirt before running up her legs. She laughed as his lips tickled her neck and she kicked her shoes off, a loud thud resounding against the hard concrete of the garage/office floor.

He laid her against the desk and she wrapped her legs around his waist, his fingers pushing her skirt up enough to caress her bare thighs. Their lips connected once more and he was just about to pull her shirt from her arms when the door burst open. All three of them gasped, and Reba hurried to pull her shirt closed, pushing Brock from her as she stood. She rushed to the door, her bare feet pressing against the hard floor, and she closed it before her son-in-law could run off.

"Van…"

"Ew…" He tried to push past her, but she wouldn't let him. Her fingers twisted the lock on the door before she began buttoning her shirt.

"No, listen."

"Why would I listen? You two are…aren't you ashamed of yourselves?" He was disgusted with them, and she felt tears begin to fall from her eyes. It wasn't like her to cry, but the realization of the moment hit her like nothing else. "Mrs. H, don't cry."

"Van, don't be upset with Reba. This is my fault." She tried to object and admit that they were equally at fault, but a sob got in her way and she only covered her face with her hands. Van shook his head.

"Mr. H, do you have to hurt everyone in your life all the time? Why would you put her through this again?"

"We started this when Barbra Jean and I were separated, but we just…couldn't stop." Van rolled his eyes and it was obvious that he wasn't convinced.

"Could we have a minute?" Brock nodded, heading to the house to wait for his ex-wife. Van turned to Reba instead, finding her in the most emotionally unhealthy state in which he had ever seen her. "You know he's only going to hurt you again. What are we all supposed to think? What would Cheyenne say if she knew?" Reba met his eyes in a sharp motion, immediately regretting it when she found her sight was too blurred by tears to see anything.

"Don't tell her! Don't tell anyone, Van. Please." He shook his head.

"Is that all that matters to you: whether or not people know? Mrs. H, what the hell is wrong with you? You're not making any sense." He took her by the shoulders, softly. When she met his eyes she could see compassion, and she knew that he somehow understood. Perhaps she didn't give Van enough credit sometimes. "What's happening to you?"

"I don't know…" She searched for an answer, the same one she had been searching for since she first slept with Brock. "I'm getting older, Van. Other men don't look at me, but Brock does. And you don't know how good it feels to have your husband back when you're feeling lonely. Van, if I don't do something for myself every once in a while then I am going to just lie down and die. I know this isn't the right thing to do, but it's my mistake, okay?"

"All he has ever done is hurt you."

"No, he's just made a few mistakes. He's only human."

"That's not what you would have said before you started this. You would have never made excuses for him or yourself for that matter."

"He's changed, I can tell."

"No he hasn't. People don't change."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Is it a bigger secret than this?" She nodded, and her throat suddenly felt dry.

"Van, I still love him." She cringed, looking away a bit. "That sounds so disgusting."

"It is." Her gaze remained on the floor as new tears began to fall. She thought he might understand if she told him that, but she suddenly wasn't so sure. All of the things she didn't want to happen as a result from their affair looked as if they were about to occur.

"I get really lonely…" Her words were a whisper, so soft that he could barely hear her, but his heart nearly broke when the words reached his ears. He couldn't allow her to finish.

"Oh, Mrs. H., don't." He reached forward and pulled her to his chest, patting her hair while she wrapped her arms around him. "I know how hard everything has been for you these past few years. God, us kids haven't made it any easier for you, at all. And, even though it's against my better judgment, I'm going to keep your secret for you."

"You will?" He nodded, wiping a tear from her face with his thumb.

"Just, do me a favor and be careful. Don't let him hurt you like he used to." He placed a loving kiss on her forehead and left her with a small smile. She sank to the ground and steadied her breathing.


	16. Chapter 16

Reba sat upon her couch with a novel and a glass of red wine. It was only noon, but she felt the wine and relaxation was well deserved since her week had been pretty stressful. Work was chaotic as usual, but Cheyenne had gone into false labor the day before and she was still feeling jittery about her daughter's well-being. Nine months of pregnancy had passed so quickly before their eyes. Pregnancy had passed as well as her six month affair with her ex-husband.

Six months: it was way longer than she had ever intended it to span. She expected it would have continued for only a few brief encounters, but half of a year was too much. It was too late to even try justifying what they were doing because it was simply wrong, heartless even.

Van was still the only one who knew about their dalliances, and he remained quiet. He wouldn't lie for them, he flat out refused, but he promised it would remain a secret. And it did. It was as if everyone else was too selfish to even notice a difference; everyone of course, with the exception of Barbra Jean.

"Reba, I need your help." She rushed through the front door and hurriedly jumped upon the couch, causing the redhead to bounce. She rolled her eyes and closed her novel, already knowing that no reading was going to happen with her neighbor's presence.

"What else is new?"

"It's just kind of personal." She chuckled, waiting to hear news that she wanted to go on another crazy diet that wouldn't work or that she had a crush on her therapist. It was only a matter of time before she heard something completely ridiculous.

"That has never stopped you before."

"Okay, well…last night I had a huge fight with Brock. I mean, we've been fighting a lot, but last night I asked him why he didn't want to make love to me anymore. We haven't even done it once since we separated and he came back…"

"Barbra Jean, I'm uncomfortable. Please hurry to the point."

"Well, after I kind of talked him into it, it wasn't the same. We used to be so connected when we made love, but last night he just closed his eyes like he was somewhere else; almost like he was with someone else. What should I do?" She sighed, feeling Barbra Jean's eyes heavy upon her face.

She knew her cheeks were flushed because they felt hot. She was embarrassed, knowing that she was the reason Brock wouldn't make love to his wife as he should. Her guilt, which had mostly been absent from her mind for the past few months, hit her in a new way at Barbra Jean's confession. She didn't know what to do. The only thing she could think of was trying to help save their relationship, as if she wasn't one of their biggest issues.

"Do you still love him like you used to?"

"I suppose. We've grown a lot, but I don't think we've grown apart or anything."

"Then instead of sitting here talking to me, you need to ask _him_ what's going on. I have no way of knowing what he's thinking." Lie. She knew exactly what he was thinking and it made her stomach hurt.

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Brock entered her bedroom later that night as she slept. She had been so tired lately, as if the stresses of life had pressed enough on her brain that she was even restless throughout the night. He kicked off his shoes, a routine he had found, before he walked over to her side of the bed. He bent over and began kissing her neck, rolling her over as she awoke and lying atop her body.

"You didn't call first…" He cut her off with a deep kiss. She had asked him to call or at least text message her phone before he arrived. His lips moved down to her ear, and she smiled, his breath tickling her.

"Do you want me to leave?" He moved to her lips once more and kissed her. He then pulled back and looked into her shining eyes, which were still heavy from sleep. She shrugged, smiling.

"Well, you're already here." He removed her clothes as she removed his, slowly and seductively. After they were naked to one another, he rolled her on top of him, running his hands over her back. She began kissing his neck as her hands moved down his chest, caressing his stomach between them.

"I've been thinking about this all day." She raised her eyebrows in question when he took handfuls of her hair and gently pulled her head to face him. He smiled to her, allowing her time to return the gesture before pressing his lips hard against hers. They rolled over once more and he reached between them to make a connection, but Reba stopped him as she rolled over onto her side, her back to him.

He pressed his chest against her back, their lips still connected, as he rolled her hips toward him and entered her center. His hands moved over her stomach, over her breasts as they moved. She broke the kiss and sighed as his teeth softly touched her shoulder. His breathing sounded louder and louder in her ear, while she tried to keep the volume of her sighs down to a minimum.

After they made love he held her close to his chest, his fingers tracing the freckles upon her shoulders. Her eyes were heavy as she felt his lips follow his fingers. She turned her head a bit to face him, her earlier conversation with Barbra Jean still weighing heavily on her mind.

"Is that how you make love to her?" She felt him tense behind her, his fingers stopped their movement. Her voice had been a mere whisper, but it held so much meaning for him.

"Reba…I…"

"She tried to talk to me about it today." He placed his hand upon her stomach to roll her upon her back as he moved to hover over her, meeting her eyes.

"What did she say?"

"She said it was like you were making love to someone else." Her words came in a whisper. She was uncomfortable talking to him about such a thing, but there was no way she wanted to get caught by his wife.

"I wished I was."

"Brock, if it's so bad, why haven't you left her?" He was surprised that the one person who would always tell him to work it out with his wife was telling him that he should leave her. It made him stop to think for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"Where would I go if I left her? She's a great person, and I don't mind living with her in friendship."

"A marriage is made of love, not just friendship."

"Not this one, Babe." And with his words she almost burst into tears for Barbra Jean. She didn't at all deserve what they were doing to her, not when all she wanted was to be happy.


	17. Chapter 17

Her phone rang while she was sleeping in on a Saturday morning, and she hurried to answer it. Van's panicked voice was heard and she knew before he even told her that Cheyenne was in labor. She told him she would get ready and be to the hospital as soon as she could. As she hung up the phone and fully began to open her eyes she realized that a heavy arm was around her waist.

"Brock! What the hell are you doing here?" She shook him, slapping his arm as he jumped to an upright position. She stood from the bed, wrapping her comforter around her naked body as she hurried to find her clothes for a shower. "You can't be spending the night with me! Barbra Jean is freaking out right now, and we let this happen? This is the worst possible time, Brock!"

"I'm sorry. I'll just tell her I went out drinking and Van picked me up to sleep on their couch."

"Well, Cheyenne's in labor so you need to get to the hospital and call your wife to help your story check out."

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Cheyenne gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, with fiery red hair like her grandmother. They named her Patricia. Van was bummed that it wasn't a boy, but with one look at his new daughter he fell in love. A new family picture was taken as soon as Barbra Jean arrived, and Reba and Brock were soon left alone in the hospital room with Van and Cheyenne. The rest went to get some dinner since they had been there all day.

"I can't believe we have another redhead." Brock smiled as he softly ran his hand over his new granddaughter's hair.

"I know. Who would have thought?" Cheyenne returned his smile as she looked into his eyes. "Dad, I know it seems kind of out of place, but I have a question to ask you. Promise you won't get mad?"

"Of course I won't get mad, sweetie. What is it?"

"Barbra Jean is really upset, I noticed. She said you didn't come home last night, and I heard the lie you told her about being at my house. And I was wondering if you are having an affair?" Reba and Van's eyes met, wide with shock. Her heart began beating faster and faster as she listened to their conversation. Thankfully Van stepped up to help them.

"No, Cheyenne, he _was_ on our couch last night. I didn't want to wake you up when I went to get him at the bar, and he was gone when I woke up this morning."

"I was going to bring doughnuts to the house, but you ended up going into labor before I got back." He laughed, but Reba's eyes remained on Van. He had never lied for them, and she wasn't even sure if he had ever lied at all without giving it up right away.

After the conversation ended, Reba took Van's arm and led him outside of the room. Brock and Cheyenne continued talking, unaware of the others' absence. She looked into her son-in-law's eyes, finding them a bit cold. It hurt her to see him so pained when he should have been elated about the birth of his daughter.

"Van, you lied."

"Was he with you?" She rolled her eyes and looked away, but he took that as a yes. "I'm not going to let Cheyenne get hurt because of some ridiculous experiment you two are doing."

"Thank you, but I don't want you to lie for us. I appreciate that you are keeping the secret; I really do, but please leave the lying to us. You shouldn't have to." He took her hands in his, shrugging a bit.

"Mrs. H., I love you like my own mother, and I just don't want you to feel panicked all the time. It isn't good for your high blood pressure." She smiled at him, wondering why she never realized just how much he cared for her until that moment. But it was true; he cared for her more than she could have ever imagined.

"Oh, Van, I appreciate you." She leaned up and hugged him, patting his back before pulling away.


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks so much for your reviews! I like to hear what y'all are thinking!

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She collapsed heavily against his shoulder, sighing as the waves of her orgasm swam inside her like an explosion. His hands ran roughly up her thighs, beneath her skirt, to caress her smooth skin. She shifted a bit on top of him, causing his office chair to roll back a bit at their combined weight.

"Wow, Reba…" She smiled, kissing his neck as he pulled back to look into her shining blue eyes. He pulled out of her and she stood on her shaking legs as they straightened out their clothing, and she found her panties.

She had used the beginning of her lunch break to visit him, marking the first time in their affair that she had initiated their encounter. He was so surprised when she entered his office, locked the door, and straddled him in his chair, but she did. It was totally out of character, and it made him wonder what was going on with her. Though, he was certain that he wouldn't have complained.

"Well, I'll talk to you later." She began to leave once she straightened out her hair and makeup, but his hand around her wrist stopped her.

"You mean you're just going to leave after that?"

"Yes. I have to grab something to eat before I go back to work." She tried to leave once more, but he still wouldn't let her. "What?"

"I just thought maybe we could go to lunch together."

"Why?"

"Maybe because I don't want to feel like I've just been treated like a piece of meat to you." She laughed, pushing his arm in a joking gesture.

"Are you kidding? You got to have sex in the middle of a work day, and you don't have to cuddle or talk or anything. I'd say that's a pretty good deal for you."

"We both know I'm the one who enjoys the cuddling and talking." She rolled her eyes and sat upon his desk as he rolled his chair up close to her, taking her hands in his.

"Okay, what now?" He laughed, standing and leaning on top of her until she was lying beneath him upon his desk, her legs dangling over the edge. He kissed her lips, softly, before speaking.

"Sometimes I wonder why you're always so high strung."

"One of us has to be the adult sometimes."

"Stress will hurt you more than it will help, and I know you know that." He kissed her once more. "I'll come over tonight, and we can fix the stress problem."

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One, two, three, four, five; she silently counted to herself as she laid the plastic out upon her bathroom counter. A whole year had passed since her first encounter with her ex-husband. She had lied for him, allowed herself to cheat with him, and she had even gone on the pill for him, but none of that made any difference. She was late.

As the timer ticked she sat on the edge of the bathtub, her face in her hands. She wondered how she could have possibly let something like that happen. They were being careful, very careful for that matter, but she was already five days late and she knew something felt wrong.

When she was nineteen she had an abortion. Suddenly, at the age of forty-five, she wondered if that wasn't such a bad idea again. She felt too old to have another baby, and the situation was certainly not satisfactory. But she knew that after all she had been through there was no way she could ever give up another child. Her regret was still strong from that decision she made so many years ago. That particular idea was quickly forgotten.

Tears fell from her eyes when the timer dinged, indicating that she could look at her tests. As she stood and approached the counter, she could already see the results glaring at her. They were all positive. Five tests in front of her said that she was pregnant. She grabbed them all from the counter and harshly threw them into the trashcan.

Her legs gave out, and she fell quickly into a seated position upon the floor, hyperventilating. She was so angry, as tears fell down her face. A panic attack was quickly taking her breath away. She wished Brock was there with her, holding her and telling her it would be okay, but she knew he would have been the one panicking if he was there. He was always the one who was weak in the situations that required strength and she was his comfort.

"Jake!" She yelled for him, hoping he could hear her through her short breaths. He was playing video games in his room and she only hoped he wouldn't ignore her shout. She really didn't want him to see her in such a light, but he had suffered from a few panic attacks himself so he knew how to help. Anxiety was a genetic occurrence in their family. And she knew from experience that she couldn't help herself. "Jake, please!"

Jake rolled his eyes as he heard his mother call his name. He continued to play his game, but when he heard how distressed she was the second time she called he dropped his controller and rushed into her room. He didn't see her, but knocked on the bathroom door when he found it closed.

"Mom?"

"Come in here." He heard her voice as she gasped for air, and he quickly opened the door to find her practically convulsing against her bathroom counter. He felt fear rush into his veins when he saw the tears falling down her face as she shook, gasping for air.

"Mom, breathe!" He sat in front of her and grabbed her shoulders as she had done to him when he was little. He remembered exactly how she used to calm him and he began taking deep breaths with her, hoping she would soon match them. He thanked God when she finally did, closing her eyes to settle herself.

"Jake, honey, I'm so sorry." He moved to sit against the counter next to her, placing his head against her chest as he hugged her. He could hear how quickly her heart was beating and a small wheezing in her lungs.

"Don't say you're sorry. Are you okay?" She wiped the tears from her face with one hand while she held her son with the other.

"I'm fine now." She looked down and met his eyes, smiling a bit even though her body was still shaking. "Thanks. Who knew you were such a life saver?"

"Panic attacks only happen to me when I'm really scared or really nervous. What are you scared about?"

What was she scared about? She was afraid of the future. She was going to have a child with her married ex-husband, her secret lover. Her family would undoubtedly hate her, one of her best friends would never speak to her again, and her parents and siblings would think so little of her when they found out. She looked at her son and wondered what he would say if he knew.

"Mine is stress, that's all. Don't be worried about me." She hugged him close to her, hoping that it wouldn't be the last time he let her hug him like that.


	19. Chapter 19

"No. Are you sure?" He paced back and forth in front of her couch after she broke the news to him. She had hours to cope before telling him so she wasn't quite as distressed as he was. She was simply numb.

"Five tests read positive, and the doctor told me I'm two months along. Yeah, I'm pretty sure." He scoffed at her sarcastic tone, but continued his pacing.

"I thought you were on the pill."

"I have been." He was in an obvious state of panic, unsure of what he should do next.

"Wait, are you sure it's mine?" Her mouth opened and she gasped, standing in front of him to quickly stop his pacing.

"Did you really just ask me that?"

"Well how am I supposed to know?" What they didn't know was that Van entered the living room through the kitchen, listening for a moment before he made his presence known.

"I don't sleep around, and you know it!" He ran his hands over his face, sighing.

"Reba, I know you don't. I'm sorry."

"No! I am sick and tired of you acting like I'm some kind of whore just because I'm the 'other woman' in your life."

"I don't consider you the 'other woman.'"

"That's bullshit."

"No, Reba, this is bullshit!" He threw a gesture towards her stomach. "What are we going to do?"

"Are you pregnant, Mrs. H.?" Van's voice stopped their conversation quickly, and they turned to face him. He noticed tears threatening to fall from Reba's eyes, but she held her head high as she nodded to him. "Should I leave?"

"No. I want you to stay." She sighed, trying to think for a moment. "We have to tell everyone else, Brock. It's our only choice."

"No, we don't." She turned quickly to look at him once more.

"You don't think they're going to notice?" He ran a hand through his hair as Van took a seat on the couch.

"I mean, we could just tell them you're pregnant. They don't have to know it's mine."

"Are you out of your mind? You would just throw me under the bus like that? This is your mistake too, Brock, and I am not taking the fall by myself just so you can save your ass." Tears fell from his eyes at her words, and he hurried to turn away so they wouldn't see. He didn't mean it like that, but his panic was causing his words to come out all wrong.

Van took Reba's hand in his from behind her, startling her with his warm support. Brock thought for a moment, and they gave him time. It was obvious that a situation of the sort couldn't be solved in just the ten minutes they had spoken of it. She sat upon the couch next to her son-in-law, smiling apologetically to him for what he was hearing. He only wrapped his arm around her and brought her to lie upon his shoulder, comfortingly.

"I'm so sorry, Reba." He waited a moment before turning around, finding her deep blue eyes staring at him expectantly. He sat on the couch, placing his hand upon her knee unconsciously before he continued to speak. "Do you want to be with me when I tell Barbra Jean or would you rather I did it myself?"

"I think you should tell her alone. I don't want her to think we're ganging up on her." He nodded, giving a small smile when she placed her hand over his. "We should tell Cheyenne and Kyra separately from Jake, too. And, Van, we won't tell that you knew. I couldn't handle Cheyenne being mad at you too."

"I'll go home and tell her right now, okay? Are we ready for this?" Brock stood, awaiting her response. She simply took a deep breath.

"No, but we have to do it."

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"Hi, Reebs! What have you been up to? I was just tellin' Mama today that I would have to call you." Sandy answered her telephone with cheerfulness in her voice.

"Actually, I'm not doing so well, Sandy. Do you think you can fly down here this weekend?"

"What's going on? Are you sick or something?" She could hear the panic in her little sister's voice, and it broke her heart to have to tell her the things she had been doing since the last time they saw one another.

"You remember that terrible thing I did last time you were here?"

"You mean, with Brock?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"I just found out that...well, I'm pregnant." She whispered just in case anyone was around to hear her. They hadn't told the kids yet since she wasn't sure of Barbra Jean's reaction, but she needed her sister by her side for the backlash. She was the only person she knew wouldn't judge her for her actions. "And I need you."


	20. Chapter 20

She sat at her kitchen table, a glass of tea in her hand, while she awaited Brock's news. It had been two hours since he went home to tell his wife, and she was certain that one or the other would enter her home at any moment. She hoped for Brock, if she had to be honest. She wouldn't know what to say to her friend, or ex-friend depending on what the future held. Whatever it was she knew it couldn't be good.

"I told her." Brock's voice startled her, and she looked up to the back door where he entered.

"How did she take it?" He sat next to her at the table, shrugging.

"She wants to settle the divorce out of court on the condition that she gets custody of Henry. She said that there is no way we are getting past something like this as a couple, and I should look for another place. Good thing my condo never sold. Now that I've told her, it all feels so real." He placed his head in his hands as he leaned against the table. She patted his shoulder with her hand, leaning forward for a more intimate conversation.

"I'm sorry it came to this, Brock. We shouldn't have been so stupid."

"I'm sorry too." He looked up and met her eyes, taking her hand in his. "I never meant for everyone to get hurt. I'm always doing this to the people I love the most, and I apologize for bringing you down with me."

"I know this is going to sound weird, but I don't regret a lot of what happened. I am angry at us for how selfish we've been, but I…well, I really liked being with you like that again." He looked deep into her eyes, which were laced with tears. "You've changed a lot, but there's something about you that is exactly the same as the man I knew a long time ago."

He wiped the single tear from her cheek with his thumb before pushing some of her hair behind her ear. It had been years since he heard her speak from the heart like that, especially to him. And he was glad because he felt the same way. After a moment of staring at one another he leaned in and kissed her lips, softly. She responded and placed her hand upon his cheek, pulling away after only a moment.

She stood from her chair, holding out her hand for him to take. He reached out and she led him out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs he stopped her. She wondered if he would, and that was her test to see if he had really changed as she previously thought. And he had. The old Brock would have followed her to bed without question.

"If we go up those stairs we are constituting a form of action that we can't take back later. This time will be different because she knows."

"I know that." He nodded, joining her on the steps for a kiss. As he laid her down upon her bed, and their clothes were slowly removed from their bodies, her skin tingled at his touch. His lips were soft and sweet and his thrusts were gentle and caring. It was as if they were making love for the first time, simply because it was the first time since they began their affair that they had actually 'made love.' It was thoughtful and tender, almost needy.

She squeezed her legs tightly around his waist as she felt her body nearing its climax. He looked deeply into her eyes as they moved, never once breaking the connection their souls were experiencing. He ran his hands through her hair, which had become quite long over the past year, and he felt her begin to shake. The warmth in her stomach released and her whole body began to convulse beneath him. She held tight to him as he moved to his own climax, stalling all motion when the waves of pleasure subsided. He looked sweetly into her eyes, their noses almost touching, while he remained inside of her.

"Reba, I want to stay like this forever." She smiled, their heavy breathing slowing and mixing in the darkness of the room. She leaned closer to him and kissed his lips, pulling away to continue their eye contact once more. "I know this will sound crazy to you, but I love you. I've loved you from the day we met, and I love you now."

"What?"

"I just thought you should know." She released his waist from the tight grip of her legs and pushed his shoulders a bit so he would pull out of her. She then stood from the bed and went to her dresser to find some pajamas. "I didn't mean to freak you out."

"I know." After finding some pants and a tank-top she turned to face him, lying upon his side in her bed. She briefly thought of how sexy he looked to her with his fading tan against her light gold sheets. "I just don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. I'm sorry." She walked over and joined him in bed once more, curling up next to him. She wasn't sure what she should say next, even though she knew exactly how she felt. Opening her heart to him was something she had to think about before simply acting.

"After I say what I have to say, let's go to sleep and not talk about it, okay?" He nodded as she scooted further down into the bed. "We don't even know what our kids are going to say about us or the…situation. Maybe we should focus more on that right now."

"I agree." He leaned forward and kissed her lips before she rolled over and he held her close from behind, cuddling with her the way they used to do when they were married. "Goodnight, babe."

"Night…" He sighed and closed his eyes, but she waited a moment to try sleeping. She shook all thought from her head and scooted herself a bit closer to him, lacing her fingers with his, which were resting lovingly upon her stomach. "I love you."


	21. Chapter 21

Van, Cheyenne, and Kyra sat upon the couch while Reba occupied the chair in the living room. Brock was pacing behind the couch, unable to sit just yet. They had decided to tell Jake separately since he was younger than the others. There would be a lot of questions the girls were likely to ask that he shouldn't hear, they assumed.

"Mom, what's going on?" Cheyenne spoke up as soon as silence filled the air. She was nervous. The last time they sat on the couch awaiting a conversation was when she told them she was pregnant with Elizabeth.

"Well, your father and I have something to tell you." He walked up behind the chair, sighing.

"Barbra Jean and I are getting a divorce. I'm already packing my things, and we've signed the papers."

"What?" Kyra stood from the couch, her hands upon her hips. "What did you do this time?"

"Well, I…I mean we…" He wiped his palms on his jeans, finding himself sweating all of a sudden. Reba took it as her turn to speak.

"What your father means to say is: he's been having an affair." They gasped, angry before she could even finish. Cheyenne was the one to speak after a brief silence.

"Who's the whore?" Reba looked down to her lap, twirling the ring on her finger before answering.

"Me." So much silence, the kind she hated. Brock wasn't much help, like she could have predicted, but she was waiting for him to at least take some of the blame before she had to continue. As the silence progressed, and she was forced to look into the angry eyes of her children, she sighed. "And I'm pregnant."

"So get rid of it!" Cheyenne leaned forward, her anger boiling quickly.

"Cheyenne, honey, that won't solve anything." She crossed her arms and gave her mother a cold glare, her eyes full of rage.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it before." Reba looked down to the ground. She was finished speaking for the moment. After having told Cheyenne her secret she didn't expect anyone else to know, but the only person left who didn't know was Jake, thanks to her anger.

"Guys, don't blame your mother for all of this. I…"

"Of course it's your fault." Kyra spoke, tears in her eyes. "That's what you do, Dad. You hurt people. Weren't you finished hurting her yet? I don't blame Mom as much as I blame you because you're the one who always takes the fate of our family in your hands and fucks it up."

"Kyra, Mom is to blame too. She's the one who stepped in between Dad and Barbra Jean and opened her legs." Cheyenne turned to her mother once more, whose eyes were wide with shock. "You taught us to be good people our whole lives, but you're a hypocrite. You're not a good person. You're…" She stood from the couch, looking Reba straight in the eyes. "You're a selfish bitch." And she left.

Reba didn't let her daughter's words sink in. She knew how upset they all were and the words weren't meant to be taken to heart. Van stood to follow his wife, patting Reba's shoulder as support on his way out. She was thankful he knew before, because it would have been so much harder to tell him as well. Kyra looked at her parents, trying to find words to say. She was too shocked to create any sort of logical thought.

"Well, Kyra, do _you_ think I'm a bitch?" She shook her head, knowing that she couldn't allow herself to disrespect her mother in that way. It was also a little odd to hear that particular word pass through her lips.

"I'm confused, actually." She looked up, seeing Brock put his hand upon Reba's shoulder and meet her eyes for a moment. It made her feel a little sick, if she had to be honest. "Dad, could I have some time alone with Mom?" He nodded and left, taking a walk while the women spoke. "Are you two getting back together?"

"We haven't talked about it, but I don't think so." She moved and sat next to Kyra, taking her hand. "You don't hate us do you? I know how hard this has to be for you."

"I could never hate you, and Cheyenne doesn't either, even though she acts like it. I just…I hate that he always does this to you, to all of us. He goes off and cheats and expects us to all just go along with it like it's no big deal. How can you be with him?"

"I don't know. It's disgusting isn't it?" Kyra smiled at her attempted joke, but wasn't quite finished.

"How could you do such a thing to her?" She didn't have to say who she was talking about; they both knew.

"I made a mistake, Kyra. I stopped thinking, and I got my husband back a few times a week. I know how terrible you think we are, but you will never be as angry with me as I am with myself. She was one of my best friends, and…never mind." She patted Kyra's knee, not allowing herself to finish her venting, even though she knew she needed it. "This is going to be a hard situation, but I want us to be okay. You, Jake, and Cheyenne are more important to me than anything, and I need to know that you won't stop talking to me or your father."

"That would be childish… In other words, you'll only have to worry about Cheyenne in that department." She smiled, allowing Reba to put her arm around her in a hug. "Well, now that they're divorcing, I guess I want to move back here, if that's okay."

"Are you sure? If Barbra Jean will have you, I don't mind. I know how close you two have gotten."

"No. You and I have gotten really close too. I want to be with you."

"Then, I would love that."

"I'll bring my things over, after I talk to her." She stood from the couch, still too shocked to say much about the news. It would take some time for her to get used to. "Mom…I love you."


	22. Chapter 22

Reba picked up her sister Sandy from the airport the day after they broke the news to the kids. Brock had decided to take Jake out for ice cream and explain the situation in a way he might understand. She almost didn't even want to know what her son would think of her being pregnant with Brock's child. He was still very little when they were a happy couple; it was likely he didn't remember them even hugging one another.

Sandy rushed into her sister's arms when she arrived from the plane. Reba almost cried at the sight of someone who she knew would love her no matter how many mistakes she made, or how foolish the mistakes were. They each took one of her suitcases and walked to the car, making small talk about the flight and such. Neither of them wanted to bring up the subject of her pregnancy. The subject waited until the half hour car ride to Reba's house.

"I guess you want to know why I practically made you come to see me." Reba sighed as she began what she knew would be an uncomfortable conversation.

"Well, you already told me you're pregnant."

"Yes."

"And it's Brock's baby?"

"Yes."

"I already told you how I felt about you having an affair with a married man, even if he is your ex-husband." She sighed, already feeling terrible enough without her sister's ridicule.

"I asked you to fly here for moral support and so I would have someone to talk to about this. Why are you acting so cold?" Sandy took a deep breath, not wanting to judge her sister, but finding more difficulty in it every day.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't need to hear about how…stupid you've been…"

"Hey…"

"But it's really hard to just watch you mess everything up and not feel a little upset with you." She didn't speak for a moment, knowing Sandy was right. Her life was really messed up, and it was her fault. She knew that her affair would cause an immense amount of chaos, but they still pursued it without much regret. She sighed and rested her head against her hand as she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

"I need you to tell me what to do now. I've decided to keep it, but I don't know if I should continue things with Brock or stop it all."

"I can't tell you what to do, Reba. What do you want to do?"

"Well…I don't know."

"You're going to have to make that decision soon because that baby is going to come whether you like it or not."

"I know…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brock entered her house while Sandy was out shopping with Cheyenne and Kyra, her attempt to help her sister get her eldest daughter to speak to her again. It had been three days since Cheyenne had found out about everything, and she refused to even respond to a text message from her mother, which was what she had resorted to. Even Jake had trouble talking to her since he was told about the circumstances. It was as if he saw her in a different light. She couldn't blame him really.

Reba was lying upon the couch, staring blankly at the television. She didn't notice him enter the house, being so wrapped up in her thoughts. She didn't know what she wanted to do anymore. It used to be so easy to make that decision. It was either continue sleeping with Brock or stop, simple. But there was suddenly a child involved and that really made her begin to reevaluate everything. She did love him, after all.

He sat on the edge of the couch, right next to her knees, and he placed his hand upon her hip. She didn't move, but he knew she had noticed him because she blinked when he touched her. She looked tired and a bit rundown, and he knew he was the reason. He hated that he was the reason.

"Has Cheyenne spoken to you?"

"No. She hasn't even responded to your texts?" Reba shook her head at his question, still not meeting his eyes. She wasn't sure what to say to him at the moment. Her mind was too confused about their future. However, their marriage ended because they lacked necessary communication skills and if they were going to have another child together, she did not want that to happen again.

"Brock…I don't know what to do." He heard a hitch in her voice, which sounded so small at the moment. He reached forward and turned her head to face him, meeting her dull blue eyes, which were usually so bright.

"Come here, Babe." He opened his arms and reached for her, allowing her to sit upright and cling to him. She wanted to cry, needed to cry, but the tears hadn't reached her eyes for a long time. He ran his hands over her back in a soothing motion, causing her to shiver and hold him tighter. "Everything is going to be fine."

"That's the kind of thing you tell a kid when they're sad." He chuckled at her words, placing a kiss to her cheek before hugging her tightly once more. "But I don't believe you."

"I know you don't, but you should. God never gives us more than we can handle."

"Sometimes I wonder." He pulled back and held her face in his hands, placing a soft kiss to her lips.

"You look so tired. Why don't you go take a nap?" She shook her head, lying on his shoulder once more.

"I can't sleep." She yawned, placing a small kiss on his neck. "Will you lay here with me and watch TV?"

"Of course I will." She allowed him to lie against the back of the couch and take her in his arms, facing him. She wasn't at all interested in television. Perhaps since she was in his arms she could sleep again. She just needed some comfort for a moment.

"I love you, Brock." He smiled, fully enjoying the way the words sounded as they passed from her lips. He kissed her, and she returned the smile as she closed her eyes.

"I love you too, honey."

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Sandy entered Reba's house after her shopping trip with the girls. Kyra had a gig so she didn't return to the house with her Aunt. She would have been glad since Sandy was met by a sight that made her cringe.

Brock and Reba were fast asleep on the couch, the television on and his arms wrapped around her in a protective motion. She rolled her eyes and hung her purse on the coatrack before walking into the kitchen to begin preparing supper for them. She would have to leave the next day, since her job would only allow her a short visit, and she wanted to make sure her sister was taken care of while she was around.

As she set the water to boil she walked back into the living room, taking a deep breath before pushing Brock's shoulder. He jumped awake and met her cold eyes, shocked that she was even going to speak to him. She nodded her head towards the kitchen and entered the room, waiting for him to follow her as he made sure not to wake Reba in the process.

"How was shopping?" He entered the kitchen, feeling awkward.

"Cut the small talk." She met his eyes with hers, which looked almost like Reba's, making him nervous. "I want you to listen to me, Brock. Reba is in a weird place right now, and I blame you for that. She is a good woman and you have to bring your adulterous self into her life after she had finally started to move on."

"Sandy…"

"You shut up." She moved closer to him, pointing her finger towards his face for a moment. "I know that she is never going to let you go, especially now that she's having your kid, but if you hurt her even half as much as you did last time, Paul and I will hunt you down and kill you. I'm serious, Brock, I will kill you if she doesn't do it first."

Reba stood around the corner of the kitchen entrance, listening to her little sister threaten Brock. She couldn't help but smile at her words. They were funny to her because her sister was all talk, as far as she knew. But it was good to know that she was frightening Brock enough to render him speechless. It was then she felt that her sister's visit was worthwhile. She hadn't felt that certain closeness with her until that moment, and it made her feel joy for the first time in months.


	23. Chapter 23

She stood in front of her full-length mirror in her bedroom, her shirt pulled up enough to observe her stomach. At three months pregnant she couldn't really see much of a difference. Her skin was tighter, a bit fuller maybe, but she couldn't tell she was with child. It made it difficult for her to make her pregnancy a reality.

"What are you doing?" She spun quickly around to face Brock as he observed her from her bedroom door.

"Oh, I didn't think anyone was here." He smiled and walked behind her, turning her to face the mirror once more. She sighed as he placed his hands upon her bared stomach.

"I can't even tell."

"I can't either." He laid his head on her shoulder and stared into her eyes through her reflection. "It's almost like it isn't real; only I know it is."

"Your skin glows, just like with the other kids." She rolled her eyes, looking away.

"Don't."

"I can't compliment you?"

"No." He laughed and held her closer when she tried to get away from him, and her reflection. She had trouble looking at herself in the mirror sometimes. "Turn me loose."

"Can I make an observation since I can't compliment you?"

"What?" The laughter in his voice already put him on her bad side.

"Your boobs are huge." She rolled her eyes and pushed him away, more forcefully than before.

"Shut up." She walked over to her bed and sat, waiting for him to reveal his reasoning for coming to visit her so soon after work had ended for the day. He usually waited until it was at least dark outside before he came to her bed.

"I just thought you needed me to lighten the mood a little." He sat next to her, waiting for her to speak. When she didn't he took the initiative to glance at her, finding her looking lost. "Are you going to be okay? I've never seen you like this."

"My daughter hasn't spoken to me in three weeks, Brock. I only see the baby when Van decides to sneak over here with her. And Barbra Jean…" She shrugged away her final thoughts, knowing he understood exactly what she meant without having to speak. "It's just really rough right now. Why don't you act like it's hurting you?"

"You know me, I push it all away. It hurts, God it hurts, but I know I can't take it all back, and I wouldn't."

"You cheated on your wife and you wouldn't take it back?"

"No, I wouldn't. I've gotten to be with you again, and I realize now how my decisions impact everyone around me. I don't think I quite understood that when we divorced." She stared at him, wondering if he was only speaking the words to get on her good side. "I realized that…I don't ever want to lose what we have again. I don't know if you will ever forgive me, or even consider taking me back, but I am glad to get the chance to hold you again."

"Brock…" She didn't know what to say. Was he honestly asking her to take him back after all they'd been through?

"Think about it. I don't expect you to make a decision like that right now." She nodded, thankful that he understood. In fact, if she had to answer him at the moment then she would have told him to leave. She would have said no to taking him back, and they would have been over. At least, that's what she told herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She knocked on her daughter's door, hoping she would answer. It had been over a month since they had spoken, and it was killing her. She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she couldn't let them fall apart. When the door opened and the blonde appeared before her eyes, her heart almost melted. She had her granddaughter in her arms, the red hair flowing softly over the paleness of her shirt.

"Cheyenne, can we talk?" Cheyenne met her eyes, coldly, before closing the door in her face. She took a deep breath, trying not to burst into tears. "Please!" She took a few steps backwards, hoping it would help her voice carry. "I'm sorry okay!"

"Mrs. H., what are you doing?" Van stepped out of his car, locking it as he watched his mother-in-law yelling from his front lawn.

"I'm trying to get her to talk to me." She turned once more to the house. "She knows I have a lot to say to her!" Suddenly, the yard sprinklers were turned on, quickly drenching Reba. She gasped. "Oh, come on, Cheyenne!" Van laughed as she rushed to the driveway where the water didn't reach.

"Good thing you don't live too far away." He smiled as she gave him her signature death-glare. "Do you want a ride home?"

"I can walk." She shook her head, waiting for him to leave her, but he didn't. It was obvious he had something to say. He bit his lip, waiting for the moment to turn so he could freely speak to her. "Did you want to talk about anything before I go?"

"I'm angry with you, Mrs. H." His words sounded harsh, blunt. He looked to the ground, wishing he could forget his feelings, but he knew she was the only person who could help him. "I don't want to be, but I am."

"I know, okay. I screwed everything up this time, and I can't fix it." She leaned back against his car, hearing her flip-flops squish from being so saturated from the lawn sprinkler. "I don't want you to be angry, Van."

"Then answer a question for me." He leaned against the car next to her, sighing. "Did you even think about us? Were you aware of how selfish you were acting when you decided to be with him?"

"Alcohol helped me with that." She smirked, but he didn't find the humor at all in the situation. She shook her head. "I don't know what I was thinking, honestly. I did think about you kids a lot, but something took over me and I was running on automatic for a while. When I came back it was too late. I mean, look what I did to our family."

"No, look what Mr. H. did to our family."

"He wasn't alone in this." He pushed away from the car, beginning to pace in front of her.

"I know you were there too, but you aren't like this. You don't do things without thinking about the consequences. I've always looked up to you because of that and now…" He tossed his hands in the air, unable to finish his sentence.

"And now you've been reminded that I'm just like everyone else?" He met her eyes, shrugging.

"I guess I never thought you could make mistakes." She chuckled, leaning forward to hug him. "Aw, Mrs. H.!" He whined as she caused his clothing to become damp as well, but she only laughed.

"This sounds like something you need to think about for yourself." She pulled away, running a hand through her drenched hair.

"I guess you're right." He smiled to her. "Well, you'd better hurry home. Your hair is curly." She returned his smile, taking his hand for a moment before making her way back to her house.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Where were you?" Reba entered her house to find Brock dusting her coffee table. She raised an eyebrow, wondering since when he cleaned her house. But, cleaning was getting done, so she wasn't going to complain. His eyes met hers when he received no response. "You're soaked."

"I tried to talk to Cheyenne. She slammed the door in my face and turned on the sprinklers." She began making her way towards the stairs. "I think it went pretty well."

"Obviously." He followed her up the stairs, conversing a bit about how he knew their daughter would eventually come around and speak to them. She wasn't so sure. As she began changing her clothes, he sat upon the bed and talked to her.

"Brock, would you stop watching me." She turned around as she put a dry shirt on, giving him a glimpse of only her back.

"Why? I like watching you." She rolled her eyes and walked closer to him, pushing him onto his back as she straddled his waist, pressing her face against his chest. He took in the scent of her damp curls as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Are you okay?"

"No. She's really starting to…piss me off." She looked into his eyes as she felt him chuckle. "I'm serious. I know what we did is wrong, and we deserve to be punished for a long time, but she needs to get over it. It's not like we did it to her. If anything, Barbra Jean should be the one slamming doors in my face."

"Well, if you went over to see her, I'm sure you'd get your wish."

"Don't joke about this." He rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her closer. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, first things first: kiss me." She leaned down and pressed her lips against his, not even questioning his motives. They were beginning to feel more and more like a couple, and she wasn't sure how to handle it just yet. Nor was she certain whether or not she even wanted to be with him. But she did what she did everytime that question presented itself; she just pushed it to the back of her mind for later.

"And second?"

"Second, give her time. I've made enough people angry with me to know that time is the first thing they need. She already knows we're here to talk when she's ready. What more can we do?"

"We can go over there and force her to listen."

"Now, do you really think that's the best choice?" She rolled her eyes, resting her head against his chest once more. It felt safe in his arms; even though she knew it was only her imagination. Yet, it had always felt that way to her.

"No, but it's what I want to do. I want everything back to the way it was."

"Change is good, even though you've never thought so."

"I need something that is secure right now. I'm sure you need that too." She sat up, her legs still on either side of his waist. He remained upon his back, crossing his hands behind his head to look into her deep blue eyes. "I can't imagine how you must feel right now."

"Don't worry about me. I'm used to conflict. It's when things settle down that I get nervous." He chuckled, but she knew he was being honest. He was always good at stressful situations, which balanced her personality very well since she was the exact opposite. She leaned down and kissed him once more before standing from the bed, on her way to the kitchen to begin supper. He decided to be bold, sitting up, his voice stopped her. "Reba, do you love me?"

"Oh…" She sighed, biting her bottom lip as she looked towards him from her position, half-way through the bedroom door. "It's against my better judgment, but I do."

"Then why don't you let me be your security?" He moved to stand in front of her, his eyes full of sincerity. "I love you, Reba."

"I…um…" She didn't know what to say. There was no way she felt ready to make a decision so big. Would he want to marry her, or move back to her home? There were so many questions running through her mind, but she pushed them away. "I'm going to need to think about that one."

"That's all I can ask for."


	24. Chapter 24

"Kyra, I need your help." Reba walked into the living room, sitting next to her daughter on the couch. She was her only child who was speaking to her without anger.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just need your input." Kyra turned the television off and fully faced her mother on the couch. "Okay, well, your Dad and I were talking and…he asked if I would take him back. What should I do?"

"He got you pregnant. I thought that meant you two were already back together."

"No. In fact, I'm not even sure if that's what I want. But I wanted to see what you think." Kyra could tell her mother was nervous and very conflicted as well, but she was at least glad that she was asking her opinion. It was as if she was getting her mother back, so to speak.

"If I have to be honest, and I am being honest, I think you're the only one to make that decision."

"But I don't want everyone else to be angry. I want our family back to the way it was."

"Mom, newsflash, everyone is pissed right now. I don't think this one decision is going to make that worse. The affair did that. Getting back together would seem logical."

"Would you be angry if I took him back?"

"Do you love him?" Reba shook her head, still uncomfortable with voicing the fact. "Do you trust him not to cheat on you again?"

"Actually, I think I do."

"Then I say you should go for it. Life is too short to ask so many questions." She smiled at her daughter, surprised that she was so much help. "I think after so many years of being selfless for us, you should have the right to make a decision that doesn't revolve around us."

"Thanks, honey. I appreciate your help." She leaned forward and they hugged, smiling at the warmth the connection brought. "Now, if you can tell your sister that…"

"Yeah, right." She smiled, standing to go to her band practice. "But, Mom, I just want you to know that you deserve to be happy. And, I'll talk to Jake about it later too, just to get him on board."

"Have I told you you're my favorite?" They smiled.

"At this point, I'm running out of competition."

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She knocked on the door of his condo, waiting impatiently for him to answer. She was going to tell him that she had come to a decision about their relationship, or at least their future. Until she had spoken to Kyra, and later to Van, she was dead set on telling him they were over. She may have been pregnant with his child, but that was no reason for her to cause another clash within the family.

"Reba? What are you doing here?" She didn't waste any time. His eyes went wide before she pulled him to her lips, kissing him like never before. Her hands ran through his hair as his wrapped around her waist, which seemed to be expanding every day. He pulled away, meeting her eyes.

"I'm here to say that I love you. I'm sick of pretending I don't want you because I do. I might be saying this about seven years too late, but I want you to come home. Come home and be with me, and we can grow old together."

"You really want me back? Are you sure?"

"As long as you promise you won't hurt me like you did before."

"Oh, honey, I promise." He pulled her into a hug, holding her close to him. She never spoke like that, without the wall of strength that separated her from everyone. The fact that she was allowing him to see her weakness showed him how much she meant what she was saying to him. She wasn't acting harsh or rude to him, she was simply herself. "Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?"

"Will you come home with me?" She pulled back a bit and looked into his eyes, hoping the fact that she let him into her heart wouldn't have been in vain. He lifted her from the ground, carrying her inside and closing the door by pressing her against it.

"If I come home with you, I'm never leaving. Are you willing to take that chance?" She smiled her bright, electric smile.

"Are you kidding? I'll never let you go." He kissed her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, tossing her purse to the ground before he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.


	25. Chapter 25

If she pushed all of the conflict and sadness of the past seven years from her mind, Reba knew that they could have been what they currently were. She felt that they could have worked through their problems and saved their marriage. His arms were wrapped around her waist as she awoke to small kisses being placed along her jaw line. She smiled, turning her head to face him for a good morning kiss.

She used to take for granted all the mornings during their marriage when she was allowed to be in his arms when sleep left them, but since they were given a second chance, she would not let that happen again. She had already decided to remember every moment of their time together, and to allow herself to be weak sometimes. That was one of the many issues their marriage had so many years ago.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you look in the morning." He kissed down her neck, resting his hand upon her stomach, where the baby was healthily growing every minute.

"Don't be so mushy." She smiled, kissing his lips once before standing from the bed. She had to get some work done in the office so she decided to get an early start. She smiled to him as she made her way to the bathroom, removing her clothes and stepping into the shower.

The water washed over her body, sending a shiver down her spine. She washed her hair and was just beginning to scrub soap over her arms when she felt a fluttering in her stomach. Her heart jumped and a smile immediately appeared upon her face. After three previous pregnancies and having already been five months along in the current one, she knew it was her baby kicking. She placed her palm against her stomach as the fluttering happened once more.

"Brock…" She entered the bedroom after her shower, only a towel wrapped around her. He was still in bed, checking his e-mail on his cell phone when he looked her way, raising his eyebrows at her appearance. "The baby kicked." He smiled, rushing from the bed.

"Are you sure?" He placed his hands against her stomach, pushing a bit to try jogging the motion.

"Yes, I'm sure. It only happened twice though…" At the sound of her voice he felt the kick. "Okay, three times."

"This is great." He hugged her, kissing her cheek as he pulled away. His hands reached for her stomach once more, moving beneath the towel to feel her soft skin.

"I've been waiting for it. The other kids kicked a lot sooner."

"This one will be our terror." She laughed, moving to their closet to get dressed for the day.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because we're old now, and that's just how God's sense of humor works." He began walking to the bathroom, preparing for his own shower.

"Well, I hope not. Though, I suppose I wouldn't blame him for punishing us that way." She stepped into a pair of panties and hooked her bra when he re-appeared in the doorway of the bathroom.

"You think we haven't been punished already?"

"That's not for me to decide. I just wouldn't blame Him, that's all." She shrugged and stepped into a pair of jeans. He took her hands after she buttoned her pants, meeting her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Do you still feel guilty about our affair?"

"Of course I do. Don't you?" She picked up her shirt and pulled it over her head, flipping her wet, curly hair out of the clothing.

"I don't feel as bad as I used to. I thought we had just moved past that."

"We have, but that doesn't mean the guilt should stop altogether. We did a terrible thing, Brock." He leaned forward and kissed her, hoping to end their conversation. It was bound to end in an argument, and he didn't want to start their first morning together like that.

"I'm going to shower before work." He began to walk away, but she didn't let go of his hand.

"Please don't ever do that again."

"Do what, Babe?"

"Don't stop yourself from saying exactly what you want to say to me." He smiled, knowing he had been caught. He just didn't want any conflict since he was lucky enough to be given a second chance with her. "I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me, even if it's something silly. I want to talk about everything this time."

"Okay, I promise." They smiled, happy to be on the same page in their relationship, for one of the only times in their lives. As she watched him walk into the bathroom to begin his day, her smiled didn't leave her face. She just knew they were going to be different.


	26. Chapter 26

A month had passed before their eyes, almost in a flash. He had been living in her house, making it 'their' house and everything between them was going strong. With the amount of income between the two of them, each could even cut down on their hours at work. It made more time for family and each other. They were finally enjoying the life they dreamed about when they were younger.

Everything was fine, except Reba felt like a couple of things were missing: Cheyenne and Barbra Jean.

"Brock, how do you think I should go about talking to Barbra Jean?" She was folding some clothes as he dusted the knickknacks on the shelf in the living room. He stopped for a moment, looking at her.

"You actually want to talk to her?"

"I want to apologize to her." She laid another folded towel upon the couch and began to fold another. "Plus, I kind of miss having her around."

"All of the stress you've been going through can't be good for the baby. Are you sure you want to add more to it?"

"I don't want her to think I've just moved on and living happily while she just got her husband taken away from her. She really was my best friend; may I choke on those words." He smiled and began folding a few towels himself.

"Why don't you go over there and talk to her."

"You saw how well that worked with Cheyenne."

"Barbra Jean is more of an adult, believe it or not. I think it will be good if you go over there. I'll get supper started, and you go talk to her." He took the laundry and placed it all into the basket, preparing to put it away before starting supper.

"Go now? I don't know what to say." She was surprised he was so laid back about her going to see his ex-wife. Of course, the whole family had grown so close over the past years that it wasn't surprising she was missed. She had become such a permanent fixture that life without her was beginning to grow boring.

"You always know what to say. Just take a deep breath and go." He placed a small kiss on her cheek as he walked by to take the basket upstairs. Reba sighed and put her cellphone in her back pocket before walking to Barbra Jean's house.

The walk was one she had taken many times before, yet it seemed so different all of a sudden. It was slow and hot. She began to sweat as her six month pregnant stomach led the way to the house a few doors down. Her heart jumped when she reached the front door, knocking.

As the door opened she almost gasped. She hadn't seen her for months, and it took her breath away to see the woman who was once her best friend in such a state. She looked too skinny, as if she didn't feel like eating. Her eyes were heavy, dark circles beneath. She didn't have the shining gleam in her eyes, and a smile probably hadn't caressed her features for a long while.

"Hi." She gave a small smile, unsure of how to begin the conversation. She expected her to seem happy and like her old self, no matter how she was really feeling, simply because she had never seen her act any other way. It was unnerving to see her in such a light.

"Reba. What are you doing here?"

"Well, I…I want to talk to you…about everything." She shivered, biting her lower lip as she found it difficult to maintain eye contact with Barbra Jean.

"Oh…" She didn't speak for a moment, crossing her arms over her chest. It was as if she was trying to decide if she was ready to take that step. "Come on in, then." She followed the blonde into the house, closing the door behind her. After being motioned towards the couch, she took a seat, Barbra Jean following but at a good distance.

"There are a lot of things I want to say to you, really. But the most important is that I'm sorry. I don't know if I can show you how sorry I am, but it's true. I feel like the worst person in the world for what I've done to you."

"Just, stop." Reba was startled when her rant was cut short. She hadn't expected the blonde to be so quick to cut her off. "Look, knowing you the way I do, I know how sorry you are. And, to be honest, you and Brock belong together. I've know that since I met you. I'm just…I feel betrayed."

"I know you do, and I don't know how to apologize to you." Barbra Jean took her hand in a small squeeze, shrugging.

"The funny thing is I'm not really that angry with you. I'm angry with Brock. Sure, I thought, as my best friend, you would respect the boundaries of my marriage, but it's more his fault than yours, I think."

"No, don't say that. Everybody keeps saying that, but It's my fault too."

"Maybe it is, but I don't blame you like I do him." She looked down and shook her head, maintaining the grasp on Reba's hand. It was almost as if she was her comforting mechanism at the moment. "He is so good at breaking people's hearts."

"I know." She nodded, remembering how it felt when she discovered her husband had cheated on her. She probably looked a lot like Barbra Jean did at the moment. "It should have never happened."

"He said you two started it when we were separated. Did you ask him to move back here to be with me?" She nodded, meeting her eyes once more.

"I just thought he needed to try and fix things with you."

"Then why did you keep seeing him." An unexpected tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't move to wipe it away. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Since she was pregnant the tears fell freely and easily.

"I just couldn't stop. I know how stupid that sounds…"

"I understand. Don't forget, I've been there. And I've already forgiven you." Reba sniffled as more tears fell down her face. She was really going to forgive her so easily. It was as if their friendship had been so strong that even the biggest betrayal wouldn't matter.

"Are you serious? I deserve more punishment."

"Reba, don't worry. Brock is your punishment." She laughed, so glad that a tremendous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The final step in their conversation was when Barbra Jean leaned forward and hugged her tightly, one of her personality traits.

"I missed you." She held her friend tight, and she only pulled away when the blonde continued to laugh. "What is it?"

"I've never seen you pregnant. You're so fat."

"Hey!"

"We need to go shopping!" She stood from the couch, pulling the redhead with her towards the door. "We've lost a lot of time, and I need to start buying you some baby clothes. Oh, and we need to stop by the toy store because this kid is going to be spoiled like no other."

"You don't need to buy me anything."

"Wait! Is it a boy or a girl? As your best friend, I think you need to start telling me these things." They smiled to one another, the first time both of them were elated to hear those words.

"It's a boy."

"We need to get to work on the nursery!"


	27. Chapter 27

"I'm bored." Jake walked into the living room as Reba sat and watched television. The doctor had suggested she stay off her feet so she tended to watch more TV than she usually would.

"You can watch this movie with me." He shrugged and sat next to her on the couch, and she smiled to herself. Ever since he had been told about her relationship with Brock they hadn't spoken too much. She could tell he had been angry with them, so she gave him time to think about everything. Time was all some people needed, and her son was no exception.

"What are we watching?" He scooted close, and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

"I'm not sure. It's really stupid." They watched for a moment, but Reba just sighed and turned the volume down. "So, how is everything? You've been spending a lot of time with your friends lately."

"I don't know." He didn't finish, leaving her to wonder what was wrong with him.

"Jake, have you been staying away from home because you're angry with me."

"No." He sighed, wishing he knew how to tell her all the things he wanted to say. "I've just been really confused, that's all."

"What are you confused about? You can tell me." He looked up and met her eyes, an uncomfortable smile upon his lips.

"It's just really weird to see you and Dad together. And I've only seen a few pictures of you pregnant. I don't understand how everyone is just acting like this is no big deal." She sighed, hugging him closer.

"Maybe we are just trying to make it easier on everyone else by acting that way. I know how strange this has to be for you, Jake, but you can talk to us about it anytime you want." He didn't look as if her words helped at all, so she decided to come at it from a different approach. "Are you okay with your Dad being back here?"

"I really like it. And I'm glad you are happy, but I guess I'll just have to get used to it." He timidly placed his small hand upon her stomach, having always been too uncomfortable to even try. "You know I have never seen you two so nice to each other until now."

"I'm so sorry, Jake." She knew he was right. They hadn't gotten along for much of his childhood, barely when he was even a toddler. There was no way for him to remember them hugging or touching or even speaking a kind word to one another. "We were very angry back then, most of the time."

"That won't happen again, will it?"

"No, honey, I promise. And, if you think it is happening just tell us to shut up." He smiled, still touching her stomach over the thin fabric of her shirt. She watched his hand as he felt the lump that had become her bellybutton. She moved his hand and pulled up her shirt to let him see her stretched flesh. "It's pretty funny looking, huh?"

"Your bellybutton looks so gross, Mom." She laughed as he poked at it with his finger. "Does it feel weird to have a baby in there?"

"It feels the same as it did with the rest of you kids. It's kind of like a fluttering sometimes. You want to feel him kick?" He nodded and she took his hand in hers, pushing his palm against her flesh in a few places before he felt the small pressure.

"Wow! That is so weird." He pushed again, and his little brother returned the pressure once more. Kyra entered the room to find them laughing and playing with her mother's rather large stomach.

"Are you two having fun?" Her voice held its usual ounce of cynicism, but the smile on her face betrayed her tone.

"Kyra, this feels really cool. You want to feel?" She nodded and sat on the other side of Reba, placing her hand on her stomach as well. She smiled as her children bonded with the unborn child, so glad that they were finally feeling less resentment towards her for what she had done to their family.

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Brock entered the house after work only to burst into laughter as he closed the door behind him. Reba, Kyra, and Jake were all sitting on the couch playing video games. Jake turned to look at him while Kyra and Reba were apparently battling one another in something. He smiled at the identical look the two women had in their eyes, glad he was there to witness what was happening.

"Dad, you have to come over her and watch this!" Jake waved him over, and he obeyed. "Mom is kicking Kyra's butt!"

"Really?"

"Shh!" Both women shushed him simultaneously as their fingers moved on the controllers of the game. He laughed, looking around to realize that they were almost a family again. And he was glad that, for once in his life, he wasn't too selfish to miss out.


	28. Chapter 28

Brock and Reba sat upon the couch while watching a movie. She was lying upon a pillow as he massaged her feet in his lap. She hadn't asked, hadn't even suggested that he give her any sort of special attention. He simply saw her resting her feet on the couch and took the initiative.

She laughed at a funny part of the movie, and his eyes were immediately drawn to her smile. Her cheeks were a bit more plump than usual, since her pregnancy had added weight to many new places on her body, and it gave her a childlike quality. She noticed him staring at her and looked his way.

"What are you staring at?"

"You."

"Why?"

"I couldn't help it." He added pressure to the ball of her foot, causing her to jump a bit. She smiled, moving her other foot to the zipper area of his lap, moving it just enough to get his attention. "Babe, don't get me started unless you want to go all the way."

"How do you know that's not my intention?" She slowly sat upright, with his help, and leaned toward him. Her lips found his quickly, eliciting a sigh from him. Her tongue tapped his lips before she began making her way down his neck. "You smell good." He laughed at her words, but she pulled away with a smile. "I'm serious. Is that the cologne I bought you on our twentieth anniversary?"

"It is."

"I've never smelled it on you before. Did you keep it?" He shrugged, running a hand through her hair.

"I think I've kept every gift you've ever given me." She smiled once again, touched that her gifts had meant so much to him. She leaned over and kissed his lips while she moved to straddle his lap.

"You're sweet for someone who can be such an idiot." He chuckled, feeling her lips on his neck once more as his hands traveled down her back, resting on her buttocks as she moved her hips against him. He pulled away and kissed her hard on the mouth, finding her tongue with his quickly. She sighed, pushing herself closer.

"Other people do live here, you know." Kyra's voice caused them to pull apart, finding her entering the living room from the kitchen. "No work today?"

"No work. I thought you had band practice." Reba stood from Brock's lap as she spoke to her daughter, her cheeks pink from her daughter's bad timing.

"Josh has the flu, and we can't do anything productive without our bassist." Just as she finished speaking Jake walked into the room, smiling as a form of hello.

"Well, since we're all going to be home tonight, let's go out for pizza." Brock's suggestion delighted the kids, but Reba immediately felt strange about it.

"I don't know. I could just make some pasta or something."

"No, Mom, let's go. It'll be fun." Jake smiled, moving to her side to take her hand. She could never resist his soft little eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She heard beeping in the background as people shouted to one another. Her stomach felt as if a heavy weight had been dropped upon it, her head hurt, and suddenly she felt that there were hands on her arms. Was she moving? No, she was lying down, wasn't she? Her eyes opened to find bright lights, smudges of faces standing over her.

"She's waking up." Someone's voice echoed through her ears, sounding official. She recognized that she was in the hospital, being rushed through the halls. She began to move, trying to push everything away, but she felt that her arms were being held down. Before her panic could fully play out a needle was stuck into her arm, and her eyes closed.

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Van, Cheyenne, and Barbra Jean paced back and forth through the halls, waiting for any news on what was happening with their family. The hospital called them an hour earlier, and they had yet to hear anything. It was beginning to scare them. Just as a tear rolled down Cheyenne's cheek, Kyra and Jake entered the waiting area. Kyra looked a bit bruised and she had a scratch on her cheek, and Jake was wearing a cast on his right arm.

"Oh, what happened?" Barbra Jean was the first to speak as they all rushed to embrace each other. Kyra spoke quickly, still shaken by the ordeal.

"All four of us went out for pizza, but someone ran into the side of our car." Jake held tight to his ex-stepmother as he listened to his sister retell the events of their evening while Cheyenne interjected with questions.

"Where are Mom and Dad?"

"I don't know. Dad was the one who called 911, but Mom was unconscious when the ambulance got there." Tears fell from Kyra's eyes as she spoke. She was worried about her parents, shaking.

"Did it hit her side of the car?"

"Yeah, and Jake's. The doctor said his arm is broken."

"Oh my gosh." Cheyenne hugged her sister and took a seat, pulling her to sit as well. Silence overtook the room as they awaited news of their parents' condition.

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Reba's eyes opened, and her head immediately began to throb. The beeping of her heart monitor was the first sound she heard, followed by the television that was turned to a low volume in the corner. Her mind worked to remember the recent events, why she was even in the hospital to begin with. Did she go into labor?

At the thought of her unborn child she moved her hand over her stomach. She pushed a little, waiting for a kick, but he was being stubborn and nothing happened. She tried to sit up, but the needles coming from her arms prevented that.

"Brock!" She hoped he could hear her because he needed to explain a few things. Her memory was very foggy and clarification was in order. "Hello!"

"Ms. Hart, how are you feeling?" A doctor entered the room a moment after she had yelled.

"I'm feeling terrible. Where is my family?"

"Your kids are in the waiting room with your sister."

"My sister is here?" She tried to contort her face into a shocked expression, but nothing happened. She was too tired for it anyway.

"Yes. She's the tall blonde who has a picture of you on her bag."

"Barbra Jean…" She sighed, thinking for a moment as he filled out a few of her charts. "Where's Brock?"

"Mr. Hart is waiting in the hallway for me to finish in here. I'll send him in."

"Thank you." He walked towards the door and allowed Brock entrance. He immediately rushed to her side hugging her, the best that he could with all the needles. "Brock, honey, what happened?" She touched the side of his face where a large bruise had formed. He hand a bandage on his forehead, and it looked as if his lip had been bleeding. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. We're all just glad _you're_ alright." He took her hand and sat in the chair next to the bed. She frowned, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle.

"I can't remember what happened."

"We were in a car accident. Jake and Kyra are fine. His arm is broken, and she has a few scratches, but they're fine."

"What about you?" She reached up to touch his face again, running a finger over his bruise.

"Babe, I'm fine." She met his eyes, and he leaned down to place a kiss upon her forehead. She stared at him for a moment, wondering why he hadn't kissed her lips. He was acting strange, and she immediately knew something must have been wrong with her.

"What aren't you telling me?" He looked down to the ground, holding tighter to her hand. She knew what he was going to tell her before he even said it, she could feel it, but she needed to hear the words fall from his lips. "Brock, please, tell me."

"We…we lost the baby." She didn't move for a moment, allowing the words to sink in. Her hand immediately went to touch her stomach, suddenly noticing what she hadn't before. It even felt empty to her bare hand. No wonder he hadn't kicked her when prompted.

"Oh…" She sighed, too sad to even think about trying to sort out her feelings. Instead of thinking about her child, she rolled over a bit in bed and released his hand. "I'm going to sleep."


	29. Chapter 29

She watched as her family left her hospital room. They were going to keep her overnight for observation since she had been the worst injured in the accident. In a strange way, she was glad it was she who was in the hospital bed. If it was any of her family she feared she wouldn't have known what to do. It was best the way it was.

The door opened after a few minutes to reveal Cheyenne. She had mascara stains down her cheeks, and her eyes were puffy and red. She closed the door behind her as she made her way over to her mother's bed. Reba wasn't sure what to do. If she spoke she feared she would say too much, but she didn't want to seem cold if she remained silent.

"How do you feel?" She stopped a few feet from the bed, unsure of how welcome she would be if she got too close.

"I'm going to be okay." She gave a small smile. Cheyenne rushed into her arms, tears burning her eyes as her mother held her close.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I was stupid for treating you the way I did, and I hope you can forgive me." She cried into Reba's shoulder while the redhead patted her hair, holding her closer. "I love you. Please don't be mad at me."

"Oh, honey, you were forgiven as soon as it all happened." Cheyenne pulled away, staying close.

"I just didn't know how to react. I was worried about you, and I said so many things I shouldn't have said."

"Cheyenne, you're finally talking to me again. That's all the apology I need." They smiled to one another, softly.

"I'm sorry about the baby." Her whisper was easy to ignore as Reba placed a small kiss upon her cheek.

"How are Elizabeth and Patricia? Let's talk about them." She scooted over as Cheyenne made her way into her hospital bed. They held close while she distracted her mother's thoughts from the recent loss. And the next morning Brock found them in the same position, sound asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She wandered aimlessly throughout their house. She would dust a table here and there or pick up some laundry. If she thought about it she would wash a dish or two before abandoning the task and finding something to do upstairs.

As she entered her bedroom she decided to take a shower. Brock and the kids would be home soon, and she didn't feel like talking. In fact, she didn't feel like doing anything at all. It was a fight every day to even get out of bed, and that wasn't at all like her. The loss of her child was taking a heavy toll on her, but she couldn't fall apart. She couldn't let her family see her as weak because they needed her to be strong. If she wasn't tough, how could they ever be?

She stood in the shower and let the water run over her body, washing away her day. It had been a whole week since she lost her baby, and she hadn't once cried. No matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn't. Her eyes remained dry, and the days continued to pass. It was almost as if she couldn't feel anything at all.

The soap ran over her body as she was finishing her shower when she caught sight of the razor she had just used to shave her legs. She lifted it from its holder and looked at the blades. They gleamed in the dim light of the shower, calling her name. It would definitely be something she would feel. No. She shook her head and tossed the razor to where it belonged before hurrying to wash off and get out. That thought scared her a bit.

"Reba, are you okay?"

"Fine." She put lotion on her hands as she lay down in bed next to Brock. His eyes were on her the whole time, but she chose to ignore his gaze. It was better that way, she thought as she rolled over and closed her eyes.

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"I don't know. We can talk about anything." He wrapped his arm around her waist, and she fought the urge to push him away. He was only trying to help, but she couldn't bring herself to feel any kind of affection for anything at the moment. "I lost someone too, honey. I know it's not quite the same, but you don't have to keep it to yourself."

"I know." She kept her eyes closed. She didn't feel like talking about it at all. It wasn't that she didn't care, she was more than crushed, but talking about it would only show her bitterness. Brock didn't need to know how she felt, simply because he would get worried about her. She could handle it herself.

"Well, as long as you know." He placed a kiss upon her cheek before lying back and pulling her close to him. His hand rested on her stomach, causing it to feel warm under his palm. She slowly moved her hand to his, squeezing it with love before pulling it away from her. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but being touched was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

"I'm sorry, but…"

"Don't apologize." He kissed her again and moved away from her a bit. He knew she would need space so he was glad to give it to her, if it would help. However, he didn't know her need for space would last so long. "I love you, Reba."

Silence…


	30. Chapter 30

Brock sat next to Barbra Jean on the couch as she waited for Reba to finish getting ready for their day of shopping. Reba had called her the day before to see if she would accompany her to take all the baby furniture and clothing back to the stores. She just couldn't look at the nursery anymore without feeling disgust.

"So, how's Henry?"

"He's fine, spending the week with my mother." He nodded, looking at his watch. He would have to leave for work in about twenty minutes, but he needed to talk to someone who knew Reba as well as he did. He just hoped her anger towards him had diminished a bit since their divorce.

"How are you?"

"Please stop trying to make small talk with me. We need to find a way to make Reba happy again." He smiled; glad he didn't even have to bring it up. "What's going on with her?"

"I have no idea. It's been two weeks, and she still won't talk about the baby. I don't know how she does it, but I can barely get her to look me in the eyes anymore."

"You mean she hasn't even talked to _you_ about it?"

"No. And what makes it worse is that she won't let me touch her; even something as innocent as holding her hand." Barbra Jean looked toward the ground, slightly uncomfortable with helping the man who cheated on her, but it was all for her best friend. "She won't even cry. She hasn't told me she loved me since before it happened."

"Has she said it to the kids?"

"I haven't heard her say it." She sighed, feeling pain for the fact that her friend was so hurt she couldn't even tell the most important people in her life that she loved them. Reba came down the stairs, finding them whispering on the couch.

"I don't have to worry about you two being alone together, do I?" She smiled a bit, but a small part of her wondered if there were any feelings left between them. Brock laughed, walking over to hug her, but she moved away before he could.

"You know you don't." They shared a look, and she nodded. "Well, you ladies have a good time today. I should be home by four." He moved to kiss her, but she turned her head so he could only peck her cheek. "I love you."

"Call me if you're going to be late, okay." She walked into the kitchen to get her purse. He shrugged to Barbra Jean before he left for work, hoping she would be able to help Reba in a way he couldn't find.

"He said he loves you." Barbra Jean informed Reba as she re-entered the living room, ready to go.

"I heard him."

"But, you didn't say it back." She rolled her eyes, moving towards the door.

"He knows. Are you ready?"

They picked up Cheyenne along the way to town, hoping that a girls' day would be good for all of them. Kyra had quickly declined the offer to join them. Reba looked into the backseat to see her daughter playing with her granddaughter. Elizabeth had stayed with Van, but they brought the baby since Cheyenne was breastfeeding. It seemed easier that way.

Barbra Jean watched all day as Reba avoided holding the baby, and, if she couldn't avoid it, she held the child awkwardly. It was as if the touch of any baby was too much for her. It made her uncomfortable. She hadn't even acted that way when she used to babysit for Henry.

She and Cheyenne talked while Reba sat on a bench with her granddaughter, staring into space. They decided to help her out by taking the remaining clothing into a store and returning it. Cheyenne looked at her mother, her brow furrowing.

"Do you think she's going to be okay? I've never seen her like this."

"You know her, she'll be fine. I just think the idea of babies is really getting to her still." Cheyenne felt terrible, all of a sudden. Her eyes widened.

"I didn't even think about it like that. Did you see me practically pushing Patricia into her arms earlier?"

"I don't think she minds, really. You know how she loves her grandchildren." She tried to put Cheyenne's guilt at ease, which thankfully seemed to work.

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"Reba, what's going on with you?" She sat at the kitchen table as Reba poured them two cups of tea.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're acting like a zombie." She rolled her eyes and sat at the table, placing the glasses in front of them. However, she said nothing. "Maybe the silence works with Brock, but it isn't going to work with me. I'm not just going to let it go."

"Please."

"No. You have to talk about it sometime or it's going to eat you alive."

"Just let me deal with it alone. I don't need anyone else to worry about it because it's my problem, not yours. If anyone should be eaten alive then it's me." Barbra Jean couldn't believe her ears at the negativity coming from her best friend's lips.

"Brock said you haven't cried or anything since the wreck."

"That's nobody's business but mine. Leave me alone." She stood to walk away, but she should have known Barbra Jean would follow her as they entered the living room.

"He said you haven't said the word love either, not even to him."

"Barbra Jean…I'm just having…trouble right now, okay." She couldn't believe she was even saying anything at all, especially to Barbra Jean. "I need time."

"Time isn't going to help you if you keep everything bottled up like you are." She took Reba's hand in hers before she could walk away. "Are you depressed?"

"I'm fine!" Her volume startled Barbra Jean, causing her to take a step backwards. She knew then that her words may have been too truthful for her friend to hear at the moment. "I've had a lot of crazy shit thrown in my way these past few years, Barbra Jean! If I want to be upset about something, let me! I can deal with it myself!"

"You are affecting everyone, not just yourself!"

"They'll just have to get over it!" She began to walk up the stairs, trying to leave the conversation, but her friend's voice stopped her in her tracks. It was soft and so full of concern.

"You'll end up alone if you keep pushing people away like this." She turned, facing the blonde and meeting her eyes. Silence was all that surrounded them while she made sense of the conversation, wondering where the desperation had come from.

"Did Brock say something to you?"

"He only said that you hadn't cried…or told him you love him." She rolled her eyes, wondering how he could ever doubt her love for him. She'd said it many times, and she had even taken him back after the years of hurt he put her through. Of course she loved him.

"He knows."

"He may know, but everyone likes to hear it sometimes…and feel it."

"Are you talking about my sex life?"

"I know it's none of my business." She walked up to Reba and wrapped her arms around her before she could object. It felt different, but she was glad she said her peace. "Call me if you need me. I'm going home."


	31. Chapter 31

Reba entered her bedroom after taking a shower. She saw Brock lying in bed, having just pulled the blankets over his body. She bit her lip, deciding her next step. She wanted to talk to him, but she wasn't sure how. There wasn't a set conversation they needed to have, but they did need to talk. There were so many things she knew she needed to say, but her pride was always a major roadblock.

"Brock…" He looked towards her, but he didn't smile like he usually did. He was worried, and she wished she would have paid enough attention to see that before Barbra Jean told her. It was the first time in their relationship that she remembered that she was being the selfish one. And she hated it.

"Are you alright, Babe?" She shook her head, and he sat up in bed, nervous.

"I can't feel anything." His brow furrowed. He obviously didn't understand. She licked her lips and moved closer, her bare feet shuffling against the carpet as she moved. "I'm numb. Not physically, or anything. I just…I can't feel."

"Oh, Reba…" He stood and pulled her to him, noticing that she didn't even raise her arms to return his embrace. "Honey, we can talk about this. We'll make it better."

"I can't even hold my grandchild without feeling disgusted." It was then, with her admission of disgust towards her granddaughter that she knew she was in trouble. She knew she couldn't go on feeling such a thing. "And, what's worse is that I can't even cry, Brock. I've tried and tried, but it doesn't happen. I can't feel sad or happy or even amused by anything, and I don't know what to do."

"We'll fix it." He walked her over to the bed and they lay down. He held her for a long while, hoping to ease her mind. He claimed that they would fix her problem, but he knew it was bigger than the two of them combined. He raised her chin with his fingers and kissed her lips, for the first time in two weeks.

"I'm scared." Her voice came in a whisper, causing his heart to crack. It was so desperate, but so strong in only a way Reba could speak. She scoffed a bit, looking up into his eyes. "At least I can feel that."

"Don't talk like that, Sweetheart. I'm going to do anything you want me to do. You'll feel just fine, I promise." He kissed her cheek, holding her closer than he had before. She knew he had no way of helping her when she needed a doctor. There weren't many things he could do, really, except love her and be with her throughout her confusion. She wondered if maybe he could help her feel at least something.

"Make love to me."

"Reba…"

"Please. I want to." She scooted closer to his face and kissed him, placing her hand upon his cheek.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like we have to if you don't want to." She pulled him on top of her, beginning to unbutton his pajama shirt while she stared into his eyes and spoke.

"If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have said anything. Besides, you said you'd do whatever I wanted." She pecked his lips as she pushed his shirt from his shoulders and tossed it to the floor. "And I want you to make love to me. Make me feel something."

"Anything you say." He kissed her again as he removed her long sleeved sweater she was wearing, tossing it to the floor with his own. His lips moved down her neck, kissing between her breasts as he made his way down her stomach to the tie of her pajama pants.

He removed her pajamas, along with her panties, and kissed her lips once more. He wanted to make her feel as loved as he could, a lot of kisses and caresses that she would normally grow frustrated with. She used her feet to rid him of his boxers and his fingers unclasped her bra, exposing her to him as he kissed back down her chest.

A smile appeared upon his face when she stopped his foreplay, pulling him back into a kiss and wrapping her legs around his waist. At least he knew that her preferences hadn't been painted over as well as her feelings. He entered her, slowly and sensually sliding his hand over her hip to squeeze her thigh as he began to move. For that moment, he felt like he had her back. She was the same person she was when they met.

"Harder." Her request took him aback. She was always one to let the mood set itself and meet his pace without any hesitation. They were always in sync. He listened and pushed harder into her, feeling his stomach jolt at how deep he had gotten, feeling her tense and gasp, but he slowed down after feeling that he could hurt her. She wrapped her legs tighter around him, taking his shoulders in her hands. "Don't slow down."

"Babe, I'm going to hurt you." He continued to move, kissing her again, but she pulled away. She could hear the tenderness in his voice, but she didn't want that at the moment.

"Do it."

"Do what?"

"Hurt me." He stopped moving completely, unable to fathom what she wanted him to do.

"No."

"You said you'd do what I wanted."

"Reba, honey, I don't want to hurt you." She wrapped her arms tightly around him, beneath his arms, and took hold of his shoulders to prepare for what he was going to do. She knew he would do anything she asked at the moment, and that knowledge was what allowed her to push him. She knew he didn't want to, but she needed it. She needed to feel.

"Please. I need you to." He met her pleading blue eyes, which looked so dull at the moment. He nodded, unwillingly, and he kissed her lips softly. Their eyes met once more and he sighed before pulling out and shoving hard into her. She nearly cried out, but held her composure as he plowed into her body. "More."

He took her wrists in his hands and pressed them firmly above her head, pushing so hard that the headboard slammed against the wall behind the bed. She tried to stifle the noises of pain from passing between her lips, but he heard them clearly enough. A tear fell down his face as he watched her shiver beneath him, sobbing as she climaxed. He moved until he came as well, only stopping when he was sure she was through.

He lay on top of her, kissing her neck, her hands still held firmly above her head. She cried, her body wracking from the sobs. He didn't know if it was from the pain he caused her or from the hurt she felt inside, but he did know that he hated to hear her so miserable. He pulled out and kissed her shoulder and up her arm, not wanting to meet her eyes just yet. When he reached her wrist, however, he stopped moving.

"How did this happen?" He touched a few cuts on her wrist, looking into her tear-filled eyes. She shrugged, pushing on his chest so he moved from on top of her. She rolled over, not even bothering to pull the blanket over her naked body. Brock, however, took the initiative to do so and covered her before addressing the issue once more. "Did you cut yourself?"

"It didn't work." She sniffled, taking in his heat when he held her close from behind.

"What are you talking about?"

"It didn't make me feel better like it was supposed to." She rolled over to face him, holding him close to her. "Brock, honey, I'm sorry. I pushed you to…"

"Shh…Get some sleep." She continued to cry into his chest as he comforted her, the only thing he knew to do at the moment. He couldn't help but decide that she needed a doctor, fast. She wasn't the woman he knew.

"I love you." She kissed his chest, wishing there was some way for her to show him what he meant to her. "I love you so much."


	32. Chapter 32

She sat upon the table in the doctor's office, the paper beneath her crunching as she moved. She had always hated the doctor, but it made her even more nervous at the moment because she knew she would walk out with a prescription. She could have saved them the trouble of a whole examination and just told the doctor what she needed, but Brock insisted that she get checked out instead of assuming.

She knew she was suffering another bought with depression. It had happened once when she was nineteen, after her abortion, and the most recent time was during her separation from Brock. She had known the signs well enough to be able to diagnose herself.

"Ms. Hart, it's good to see you. How have you been?" They shook hands, but she didn't have her bright smile that he usually saw upon her face. He had treated her the last time she had the same problem so he had a feeling immediately that something was wrong. "You aren't feeling too well?"

"I can't feel at all." He looked into her eyes, which were so cold, as he took a seat in front of her on his stool. She rolled her eyes, feeling the heat of Brock's stare from the chair behind her. "That sounds so negative."

"Why do you say you can't feel?"

"I don't know." She looked down to her laced fingers, moving her thumbs over her knuckles. "I don't care about anything anymore. I can't concentrate on my work or my house. God, you should see my house. I can't stick to one task long enough to get anything done at all."

"I understand it's been a couple of weeks since your miscarriage."

"Yes."

"Have you talked much about that? Do you feel that you are moving on?" She shook her head, not even wanting to talk about it to him. "Reba, do you think you're depressed?"

"Yes, I do." He nodded as he saw a few tears escape down her cheeks. He remembered the last time she was in his office for the same reason, not too long ago, really. She looked pale and lost. "It's just like the other times."

"Are you drinking more than usual?" She wiped her eyes, wishing he would just stop the questions and let her go. She was tired.

"No. I hardly drink at all."

"Have you taken to self-injury this time as well?" She nodded, crying harder than before. Brock couldn't believe what he was witnessing. First, Reba was crying in front of someone. That was something she had always refused to do, no matter what. And, second, the doctor suggested that she had cut herself during their separation as well. He wondered why there were so many things about her he didn't know. There was a dark side to her that he couldn't quite grasp.

As Reba lay in bed that night she began to wonder what her next step should be. She barely had to work anymore since Brock was bringing in money as well, so her job wasn't in jeopardy from her slight mental issue. Anyway, she rarely had to go to the office since she worked from home. It didn't bother her too much.

She heard his shower running in the bathroom, and she wondered what he was thinking. He had never seen her in such a state. It was so much easier to hide it all when he didn't live there, but he was even sleeping in the same bed as she. There was no hiding.

She took her first anti-depressant before she lay down in bed. It was only a matter of weeks until she would be back to her normal self, at least that's what she continued to tell herself. In reality, she had no idea how long it would take.

As Brock continued his shower she stood from the bed and walked into the bathroom. The steam covered the mirror as she entered, removing her clothes before pulling a small part of the curtain back. He smiled when he saw her face, noticing she was naked behind the curtain.

"Care to join me?" She smiled and nodded. That was what she was hoping he would say. She entered the shower to be taken in a sweet embrace and pulled into the warm water. It felt comforting and safe. "You remember the last time we took a shower together?"

"No." She laughed a bit, but she knew it sounded hollow. Hopefully it didn't hurt his feelings, but she really didn't remember anything like that.

"Well, I do. Jake went away to basketball camp for a week…"

"Which was not worth the money." He chuckled and continued, rubbing some soap over her back as he spoke.

"And the girls both went to friends' houses, so we decided to have a date night which ended up here. You don't remember our last date night?"

"Was it the one where you tried to make lasagna?"

"Of course you remember the food." She smiled, turning them so she could wash his back in the falling of the water as he had previously done for her.

"Brock, I'm sorry about all of this I'm putting you through right now. It'll be over soon enough, I hope."

"Babe, you don't have to apologize. The doctor said that your hormones went a little crazy after the accident. It isn't your fault, and I will be with you through everything." She pulled his lips to hers for a gentle kiss, caressing his cheek with her fingers.

"You're a lot different this time."

"You are too."

"Is that a good thing, do you think?"

"I think growing up a little bit was the best thing for both of us." He kissed her lips once more and they continued their shower.


	33. Chapter 33

As the weeks passed, Reba began to laugh again. Work was a breeze, and life continued with happiness and joy. She was surprised her pills were working so quickly and so well. The stresses of everyday life weren't daunting to her anymore, and she couldn't wait to spend time with her grandchildren. Everything was finally settling down for them all.

"Reba, I have something to tell you." Barbra Jean sang her words as she entered the kitchen to find Reba eating lunch. She pranced over to the table and sat next to her best friend.

"When don't you have something to tell me?"

"Good point, Red. But this is important." She smiled and scooted a bit closer. "I found a man."

"Really? Does he know it?"

"Of course he does! We've gone out a few times and tonight the four of us are going out to dinner. I know the perfect outfit for you to wear." She stood and left the kitchen while Reba wrapped her mind around the situation.

"What?" She stood and followed the blonde upstairs to her bedroom, finding her sifting through the closet. "Barbra Jean, we aren't double dating."

"Yes we are. I texted Brock and you two are going to meet us there. Oh, this dress is perfect." She pulled a short, form fitting, blue dress out of the closet for Reba to wear to dinner.

"No. That's just something Lori Ann gave me a while back. I'm too old to wear something like that."

"No you aren't. Besides, Brock won't be able to keep his hands off you if you wear this."

"That's just great, something else to worry about besides busting a seam." She wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms. "I'm not going."

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Brock and Reba walked out to the car, hand in hand after their double date with Barbra Jean and her boyfriend. It was uncomfortable enough, especially since he was just as wacky as Barbra Jean herself. However, they made it through the dinner and they were currently making the long walk to Brock's car…bickering.

"Well, if you hadn't worn heels then your feet wouldn't be hurting." She scoffed, turning a bit to face him as they walked.

"Are you kidding? If you hadn't parked so far away then we wouldn't have to walk for five miles to get to the car." He rolled his eyes at her over-exaggeration.

"We wouldn't have been late if you would have just been ready when I got home."

"I was ready. You got home twenty minutes late, Brock." They stopped at the car and opened their doors. He tried to open hers for her, but she beat him to it, slamming it in frustration. He turned the key in the ignition, but the car wouldn't start.

"Shit."

"What?"

"It's dead." She scoffed and kicked off her shoes, leaning back against the headrest. "I thought it stopped doing this." He pulled the keys out of the ignition and threw them against windshield.

"Stop overreacting. We'll just call Van and see if he'll come over here and jump start us." She went for her purse, but he stopped her. "Honey, I'm not going to let us sit out here in a dark parking lot while you tinker with a car you know nothing about."

"I think I can fix it." He got out and opened the hood of the car, looking at the engine with confusion. Of course he had no idea what he was doing, but he wanted her to at least think he could take care of her if they were stranded somewhere. He felt her hand upon his shoulder as she stepped behind him.

"Let's just call Van." He slammed the hood of the car and turned to face her, anger in his eyes. "Don't you yell at me." Her warning glare caused him to take a deep breath and hang his head a bit. A small laugh escaped her lips as she raised his head. "Don't get so high strung. We don't have to work tomorrow. It's not a big deal if we're out a little later than we planned."

"Since when are you the sensible one?" She smiled and took his hands in hers as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips.

"Since I realized I can easily take you to that bridge over there and have my way with you." He smiled, looking to the small area behind where the car was parked. He noticed the bridge, a small wooden one that curved over the creek that ran through the woods. He picked her up and rushed them down the hill that led to the lake area. "I said I was going to have _my_ way with _you_."

"Oh, did you want to carry me?" He laughed and sat her upon her bare feet on the wooden panels of the bridge. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, pushing him against the railing as her tongue entered his mouth. His hands ran over her back to grasp her buttocks, squeezing a bit as he turned them around and pressed her against the railing.

"Thanks for dinner tonight." She pulled away from their kiss to speak, allowing him to turn her around and wrap his arms around her. They looked out over the creek, seeing the flowers on the other side of the water. It wasn't a particularly breathtaking sight, not even very pretty at all, but it felt so romantic to them for whatever reason.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad to get out of the house with you." She smiled and pressed her backside close to his pelvis, moving her hands behind her to unbuckle his pants. She reached into the waistband of his boxers, hearing him sigh when she touched him. "You really want to do this here?"

"Yes." She turned her head and he leaned down to kiss her once more before running his hands up her thighs and under her dress. She sighed as he lifted the fabric over her hips and pushed her panties down her legs. She pulled his pants down a bit and he bent her over the railing, just enough to enter her. "Oh…"

"You okay?" He didn't move, knowing that he didn't give her much time at all to prepare for him. She nodded and he leaned over to kiss her neck, beginning to slowly move inside her. His hands grasped her inner thighs from the front, teasing the sensitive skin he found as he moved. It was a different position for them, and she found herself feeling weak. Her legs weren't going to hold her for long.

"Wait…" Her voice was breathless, and he stopped moving immediately, pulling out. She stepped out of her panties and turned to him, quickly. "Lie down." He followed her request and she hurried to climb on top of him, kissing him as she reached between them and reconnected their bodies. She chuckled as she kissed his lips, moving her hips hard against his. "That's better."

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Barbra Jean and her boyfriend drove through the parking lot after dinner, having stayed a bit longer after Reba and Brock left. She smiled and turned up the radio as they drove towards the exit. Her face scrunched when she saw Brock's car parked way back in the distance, dark and seemingly abandoned.

"Josh, look. Do you think they need help? His car does that all the time."

"We'll go over and make sure." He pulled the car next to Brock's, surprising both of them when they got out and it was empty. "Maybe they decided to walk in that little park over there. We should just go."

"No. What if something happens to them? We have to check." She pulled his hand to follow her, but he wasn't quite convinced.

"But, they're on a date too. Shouldn't we just leave them alone?"

"You obviously don't know me very well just yet."

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She shivered on top of him as he came inside her, his fingers digging into her back. They lay still as their breathing returned to normal, the water moving softly against the rocks beneath the bridge. She leaned up on her hands to look into his eyes, smiling when he looked at her. He seemed so relaxed compared to the wreck he was earlier, for which she was thankful. She liked him best when he wasn't so high strung.

"What are you smiling at?" She shrugged at his question raising her hips so he could pull out. She reached between them and redid his pants, buckling his belt before leaning up and kissing him once more. Her brow furrowed when her hands passed over his hips, on their way to his hands.

"What's this?" She reached into his pocket, ignoring his protesting until she pulled a ring box from his pants. She sat up, still straddling him on the bridge. She opened the box to reveal an engagement ring. "Brock?"

"It's not what you think."

"Yes it is. Were you going to…?" She let herself trail off, not wanting to say the words. A panic arose within her chest, and she felt frightened. They hadn't talked about marriage again. She hadn't even thought about it.

"I was just going to ask if you would wear it. No marriage, or even engagement, if you don't want it. I just wanted you to wear something to show the whole world you're with me." She smiled, so thankful he wasn't proposing to her. It would take her a long time to even fathom another marriage with him, especially since it didn't work out so well the first time.

"Well, then okay." She took the ring from the box and slipped it onto her finger, smiling.

"You'll really wear it?"

"Of course I will. This is beautiful, Brock." She leaned down and kissed him once more, feeling his hands upon her flushed cheeks.

"Oh my gosh!" They broke their kiss, looking up to see Barbra Jean turning away from them and shielding her eyes. Reba hurried to stand, pulling her dress over her thighs so she was presentable as she picked up her panties from the ground.

"Barbra Jean, what the hell are you doing over here?" Brock stood as Reba shouted at the blonde, who was slowly turning her head to make sure they were decent.

"I saw your car, and I figured it wouldn't start again. I wanted to make sure you were okay...I see now that you definitely are." Reba placed her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes at the fact that even though Barbra Jean was annoying, she cared deeply for them.

As Reba and Brock lay down in bed that evening, she kissed him. Then she said a little prayer, thanking God for all that was in her life. She had nothing left to pray for, everything in her life made her incredibly happy, and she was certain Brock felt the same way. And that was when she knew she had been forgiven for her sins. She knew that, even though she threw all of her discretions out the window and carried on an affair with her ex-husband for over a year, and even though she did some terrible things to her family, she was forgiven. And, life would go on.

The End

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Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. I hope y'all liked it! I'm working on another one that should be finished soon, so keep an eye out.

Thanks!

Rosemary


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